Licorice the Kitty

Contrary to what people might think, cats *can* spell. Twitter will probably cramp my style & force me to mangle the English language.

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

Dogs are always stealing the great ideas of cats. #unoriginal

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

gooooob morning. sometimes when the human is still asleep. i will quietly climb onto their face. and wait patiently for them to wake up. this normally does not take very long

[Cat Food Breath @CatFoodBreath]

Get your paw out of the cream. Don’t knock the juice over. No no no bad kitty. Do not push the fruit on to the floor. Stop that. Don’t sit on the toast. Is that jam on the dog? Stop licking the butter. No kitties in the refrigerator. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

Finally managed to bring part of my fresh lunch into the house, and the 19 year-old threw it away!

I’ve been trying to bring a mouse indoors for *years*! #spoilsport

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

@Sr_Lisa I've been hampered by stupid #FrodoWaggins, who thinks we can be BFFs.

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

@franciscanmom @CatholicMomVA NOM NOM NOM

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

@franciscanmom @CatholicMomVA My hunting skills haven't atrophied. The squirrel was my biggest prey yet!! #watchoutrabbits #babybunnies_CHECK

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

@franciscanmom @CatholicMomVA That stupid Frodo Waggins forces me to limit my activities in the house.

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

NOTICE:

I bagged a squirrel the other day. Carried it to the balcony to leave as a gift for the humans. #mightypanther

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

Yes, I've been noisy all night & so far all this morning. You were gone for 10days—I'm trying to get you caught up on what's been happening!

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

My humans are still gone, but that boy keeps coming over and trying to hang out with me.

I don't need new friends, kid.

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

However, one of the smaller humans has a boy coming to feed me. He's nice, but I'm not going to be too nice to him or he might get ideas.

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

I have peace and quiet without the dreaded #FrodoWaggins, but my humans have left again.

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

So what if the last three times you let me in the house I went straight to a kid's room and peed? I'm switching between rooms. #getoverit

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

I killed a small animal and offered my humans the best part: stomach and intestines.

Did they thank me?

#ofcoursenot #ingrates

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

Caught a chipmunk today. My humans had too many relatives over, so I ate it under the deck. Also, the horrible #FrodoWaggins was nearby.

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

It's still raining. Maybe this will help drive small rodents out of their holes and into the woods where I can hunt them. #MightyPanther

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

Also, it's been raining a lot. This really hampers my hunting parties. #nofreshmeatfortheMightyPanther

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

I fear I may never convince the humans to get rid of the dog, so I have taken it upon myself to properly train him.

Lesson 1: FEAR THE CAT!

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

I've also been working on ridding myself of the hideous #FrodoWaggins. I've trained him to not scream in my face, so I may allow him to stay

[Licorice the Kitty @LicoricetheCat]

I have been away from Twitter and working on my hunting skills. I can now leap onto the second-floor balcony with my prey in my mouth.