Lieutenant_Dab

26 yr old Venti lover

[spam @catsbelief]

for a girl who loves sleep so much you think i’d go to bed earlier

[raven @nightsoulstate]

we will not let you rewrite history

[Spicymochi @spicy_mochi]

your month, your mini bird wearing a hat!

[Josh Billinson @jbillinson]

I just know he’s gonna send all his friends and family the funniest Christmas card this year

[꧁༒☬ 𝔾𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕝 ☬༒꧂ @Gabbrielxzn]

found out today i’m allergic to my cat, and the allergist told me to stop letting her sleep in my bed. over my dead, histamine-consumed body.

[brayan bello defender🙂‍↕️ @tessiesbestie]

I can’t keep doing this

[Jams 🛸🍈 @jamsvirtual]

Bats use echolocation, which means they yap like this to get a better look at your beautiful face

[Interesting things @awkwardgoogle]

They genuinely can’t stop the funk

[Leesi ☽ꨄ︎☾ @LeesiBB]

fork found in kitchen

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

how can i communicate to wild bunnies that i am their ally

[yoon⁷🦭 is seeing BTS! @fairyyoon_]

I always do

[Community Notes & Violations @CNviolations]

There are over 12 hours of film footage explaining why you should put it back

[ShitpostGateway @ShitpostGate]

Iceland has fallen

[yammi @sighyam]

Protect her at all costs. I’m not even joking. Give her family armed security.

[𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐌𝐎 … @JaYunnaMonae]

so I’m watching SpongeBob as an adult I’m realizing Patrick was never his friend..

[sho @cyntific]

i know these two went for drinks together the day collei chose to enroll in amurta

"at least she's a happy scholar"
"at least it's not haravatat"
🍻

[Allie @searobbing]

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING: fever, fatigue, muscle aches, dizziness, chills, vomiting, headaches, bleeding eyes, bleeding lungs etc. THEN IT IS YOUR DUTY TO GET ON A PLANE RIGHT NOW!!! GO TO AN AIRPORT AND START LICKING PEOPLE’S MOUTHS!!! THEIR SALIVA IS YOUR SALIVA!!!

[talia @taliasbonnin]

Put me unmedicated in a room with RFK Jr. for 30 mins and he’ll come out saying we need Lexapro in the drinking water

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

VIROLOGIST: “It’s bizarre, Hantavirus almost never jumps from human to human like this. Usually it’s from coming into contact with rat feces or something.”

CRUISE SHIP CHEF: “Yeah, that’s crazy, it must’ve mutated or something.”