Hey newspapers, don't all go with 'YOU'RE FIRED'. Plenty of other options:
• P45 for P.45
• The Lying King
• Unpresidented
• Lord of the Lies
• Donald Dumped
• Down in the Trumps
• Game over, combover
• POTUS Out Of Our Misery
• Orange Is The New Sacked
Last night I opened a packet of Hobnobs to eat with my tea. Then, one by one, they all started to magically disappear as I drank my tea. VERY STRANGE. I want a refund @McVities#TrumpMeltdown
The woman giving me a pedicure just asked me if I wear shoes when I go out... I was so taken aback by the question that I didn’t know how to respond and kinda just mumbled “sometimes” 🙈
Married Life - A Tweet
Me reading a headline: “A 21ft shark has been spotted off the coast of Hawaii. How big is 21ft?”
Scott: “like 3.5x the height of me”
Me: “Can you lie on the floor, I need to visualise this?”