hi everyone! this is fallenshadow.
i am safe and doing better, but i felt the need to reach out to you on a few really important matters before i resume my internet break.
first of all, i am so, so sorry to anyone that i have worried with my recent behaviour. i suffered a schizoaffective episode recently. i think this was triggered by stress and lack of sleep and rest due to the prolonged shondothon, but i genuinely didn’t realise there was a problem until i had a catatonic/psychotic lapse and had to be briefly hospitalised.
i would like to sincerely apologise to anyone i worried or frightened with the stream that happened in the early hours of october 31st and with the way the shondothon had to be cut short. i was not lucid and i genuinely have no clue how i went live. if anything i said or did scared you i am so, so sorry, and i hope you know that the things i can say or do during these times don’t hold any substance and is just random brain babble.
all i can do is assure you i am okay and safe and mostly just embarrassed by it all and i will do my best to make sure this never happens again. now that i am more stable and back home, it’s very easy to see that i was declining for quite a bit before that event but i was too busy streaming to check in with myself and realise.
i have been asked by my family to take a break from the internet for the time being and to spend some time with them and to rest up and get myself properly stabilised again. i am feeling a lot better than i have in a while already. i will be touching some grass, eating healthily, and starting sessions with my new therapist and psychologist in a week or two. i really want to get better.
additionally, regarding merchandise, the deadline has now passed but the storefront is of course still open. i will be reaching out with customer service emails to resolve all existing enquiries within the next day or two, and i will close all orders for real on november 10th! if you have an enquiry or issue with your merch please fill out the contact form ASAP so i can resolve it before i close orders.
thank you everyone for your kindness and patience with me! i am sorry for being so much trouble all of the time!
please bee nise to yourself and to others for me,
shadow 💜💜💜
finally moved after months of housing falling through 🥳
ive been meeting new ppl and touching grass irl in general but cant wait to use my vtuber model soon(tm) QWQ/
also sorry chat, ive already been playing silent hill f without u guys :^)
🎨 and rig by @himechui