James Thompson

See if you (C)an decode my messages for the secret coded cr(I)es for help they really (A)re. My handler reviews all of my tweets before I can post them.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

I should have realized I was a junkie when I got my wisdom teeth removed for the 18 vicodins they give you after. That’s not a good trade: two usable teeth for a small amount of a week opiate painkiller. Not a “wise” decision.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

Dear employer: I was late and clocked in at 9:11 ON PURPOSE. I was trying to make a political statement and bring attention to the fact that 9/11 was an inside job! It was very brave of me to be 11 mins late and I would appreciate it if you would get off my back!

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

@duncantrussell Is there any word on when ‘As the Carpet so the Drapes’ will be released? Very excited for this.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

Man, I’ve really gotta pee like a racist horse!

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

@skruppy2020 @Dannyjokes Yes, would love to see War Mode in again.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

@Dannyjokes Would love to see @kurtmetzger again, but then again, I wish Kurt was on every podcast all of the time.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

You know who else was an Island Boy? Jeffrey Epstein was an Island Boy, he was an Island Boy, just an Island Boyyyyyyy!

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

It’s New Years EVE, not New Years STEVE!

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

@AaronIsaacs69 Let’s be real here, Manslaughter should just be called ‘Manmurder-butnotonpurpose.’

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

More like Alec BaldLOSE your job for accidentally murdering people.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

I came out of Twitter retirement for this.

[Paul Gosar @DrPaulGosar]

“93,331 opioid drug overdose deaths occurred in 2020 according to NCHS, up 30 percent over 2019.”

Kratom is being researched and shows promise of being used to treat chronic pain with less addicting potential than opioid based drugs.

https://t.co/YEKftpOXLf

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

“This fella plays them scary games and acts very sus,” what southerners say about my videos. https://t.co/lM06cDZ9OL

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

@TheKratomCom Heroin. Over two years now, I just drink Kratom 3 to 4 times a day instead.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

It might look like I’m celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, wearing all green, but I’m actually just repping Grove Street.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

It’s the tweakin weekend, baby, I’m about to have me some fun.

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

I am the Broth Goth!

[James Thompson @LifeisaPrison69]

I think when rap fans like myself say “free (insert rapper name here),” we should at least follow it up with “... and then put him in a rehabilitation program that is actually focused on helping them & not just punishing for the sake of punishment.” But.. it’s just not as catchy.

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

People who are angry I’m interviewing Candace Owens but are genuinely excited to have 94 Crime Bill Biden and Kamala “throw away the key” Harris in charge fascinate me.