Life with Josh

Life with Josh

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

Kendra just found a pair of Josh's pants... In his backpack. WTH?

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

So Josh starts repeating a story from his grandpa (former police officer), "So one time this guy was drinking marijuana or drinking some other drug that makes you have hallucinations..." (Nobody else heard the rest of the story over the laughing. Good little (big) innocent Josh.

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

So Josh had to fill out a form form his PE class teacher to get to know him. The last question said: write one word to describe yourself. Josh's response: an absolute dog

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

Christmas dinner at Josh's grandparents' house. I haven't seen Josh for a while so I go looking. I find him watching Jaws.
Me:Josh, it's not appropriate to be watching a violent movie during Christmas dinner.
Josh:Why?
Me:You know why.
Josh:No I don't.
Swear words were thought

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

Tbt: I wasn't there for this, but when Josh was like 3, his grandpa took him fishing. They had a whole day planned and grandpa showed him how to fish. They get to the middle of the lake and grandpa says, "OK Josh, throw it in!" Yep. He threw the whole pole in. Fishing trip over.

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

we got the heck out of there. To this day, I don't know what he did. But this was one of his Christmas presents that year. Surprise: he hates this gift and hates snow globes. And he swears up and down that it wasn't his fault.

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

Christmas story from times of old: so like 2 years ago, we took the kids to a department store. Naturally, I warn Josh not to touch ANYTHING. So naturally, about 10 minutes in, he is standing behind me and I hear a huge crash of glass. I turn around to see...

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

They ask what happened and I can only say "your shelf almost killed my son, but I think we are ok." They take the broken glass out of my hands and as soon as I can calm Josh down (he was bawling)...

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

So I'm watching Christmas vacation, and the department store scene, where Clark flirts with the counter girl just ended. Kendra asked if I let the boys watch it. I said yes, and Josh's response was " it was the grossest thing I've ever seen in my life... Except for my penis."

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

My exact quote: Seriously Josh, we walk through all these lights and the only thing that interests you enough to stop is a plain floodlight pointing at a dead bush?!?
His response: it looked like there was a peach over there. You know how much I love food.
... Ok

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

So we go to the "Luminaria" at Thanksgiving point, which is like a mile walk through 5 million Christmas lights. As we are walking toward the end, Josh finally stops to look at something. My exact quote: "Seriously Josh, we walk through all these lights and the only thing ..."

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

What a night

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

Church. Sacrament. Milo holds out the bread tray for Josh to take 1 piece. With 0% effort, Josh grabs, like, a handful and stuffs it into his mouth. One piece drops on the floor. He eats it. Duh.
Kendra leans over and says "it's the holiest bread so maybe he won't get sick."

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

Josh's special birthday dinner pick. Jimmy John's.

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

Josh gets an embarrassed look on his face. I feel like it was a miracle that he caught my gaze right at that time. Turns out, though, that he still ate it. Freaking Josh.

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

So, we are at the high school football semifinals at the U of U. I'm sitting like 15 rows up but Josh is on the first row sitting with bros from his football team. I see him messing around and grabbing a plastic bag from another kid. Then, all the sudden, the bag rips...

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

And a ball of cotton candy falls to the floor. Josh of course immediately picks it up, but then by some miracle, he looks up and makes direct eye contact with me as I am not only shaking my head, but also mouthing the word No and waving my finger. I mouth "Don't eat it!"

[Life with Josh @LifewithJosh2]

Disney world bathroom. Freaking Josh puts water all over his face in the crowded bathroom and puts it under the stupid Dyson hand dryer. Makes me want to swear!