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I actually love the idea of building with someone. You’re both young, not exactly where you want to be, but on the way. Then you both can look back & see where it started how much y’all have together now. I hate the idea of needing to have it all together before love.
when it’s right, it’s scary.
whether it’s a right person, right job, right opportunity or a right path for you; it will shaken up your foundation. it will hold a mirror back to yourself – showing you the parts of yourself which aren’t ready – to finally get going. it screams in front of you, the words, “are you ready for this yet?” – and the answer is : yes. because you asked for it. because you waited for this for so long, now that it’s in front of you, it scares you. you see the vision becoming a reality, and its always scary.
but it always works out. it always does.
This year has taught me that a good year can also be a hard year. I have held joy and pain in equal measure. The joy hasn't made it less painful & the pain hasn't made it less joyful. It’s the year I learnt what it means to hold all things in a delicate balance.
Major life hack: Reject worry. No problem has ever been solved with anxiety. Worry is passive procrastination. Problem-solving is active experimentation. Worry paralyzes. Action clarifies. When you start to worry, ask: What’s one thing I can do right now? Then do the damn thing.
I’m reading a book about decision-making written by a poker player, and she points out that “resulting” is misattribution — thinking a bad outcome means you made a bad choice. Your decisions may have been sound, even if it turned out poorly bc you were unlucky. Try to disentangle results from the choices that landed you where you are. If you were acting reasonably with limited information, don’t question yourself in the aftermath. Hindsight is always 20/20
i think it’s important to be courageous in love and make yourself look like a fool at times. so many ppl are so concerned with being stoic it blocks true connection and vulnerability. be a little crazy in love actually.
btw in your 20's and 30’s you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. it’s very important you revisit them. your younger self was actually on to something.
Last week, I had this conversation with my friend. She's scared of commitment because of what her ex did to her.
I told her that if the next one will break your heart, you can't escape it. The earlier you start trying, the better, so you can be done and dusted.
If the next one is your soulmate, nothing in the world can stop it.
There's no manual, and you can never see everything before going into it.
You just have to pray and do your best.
One of the clearest paths to confidence is knowledge. Know your stuff both in practice and in theory. Knowledge bestows confidence on you. Think of the football fan who can talk endlessly about the sport. They know the history, the matches, the goals, the transfers, the players.