Chubby Bun, Esq.

Professionally annoying

[Kale⁷, Esq. 🍊 @misstrialll]

Gotta stop saying stuff like “what if I kill myself instead” to innocent bystanders (my coworkers)

[Dr. Nicole LePera @Theholisticpsyc]

Codependency patterns are learned when we grow up in homes: without boundaries, where the emotional climate of the home revolves around one person, and where we're made to feel guilty or selfish for having our own needs or desires.

[Robert Schultz @_RobertSchultz]

me: sorry for that tiny mistake

my gf: oh it’s literally not a big deal

also my gf: *immediately starts typing a paragraph in her girls group chat*

[law dog, esq. @ggooooddddoogg]

you should be able to vote democrat but check a box that says you think they’re doing a really bad job

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

@LizCGil 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[Alyssa Leader @alittleleader]

Judge: And what’s the authority for that?
Me: Oh I’m going to be proceeding on Vibes your honor

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

@LizCGil Word has been gaslighting me about ‘allocute’ for far too long

[AriZona Iced Tea @DrinkAriZona]

Nobody will remember:
- your salary
- how "busy" you were
- your fancy job title

People will remember:
-how many empty cans of AriZona you had crushed up in your bedroom

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

I have never wanted to tell anyone to get a fucking job more than the the man who yells at people to “Love Jesus!” in Atlantic Terminal. #fuckyoubro

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

everyone in a friend group has their own little role, and i’m proud to be the one who always thinks everyone should quit their job

[Jesus Fucking Christ 🌈 @SHEsus__Christ]

Fun fact: the bible doesn't say that life starts at conception, it says that life starts at first breath in Genesis 2:7. The only time the bible mentions abortion is when it's describing when it should be done and how to perform one in Numbers 5:11-31.

[ringworm @prawn_meat]

they should give all the college debt to one guy. everyone else clear, one guy 2 trillion in the hole. but no loophole for the guy. his punishments should be real and meaningful

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

i’m a grown ass woman arguing about who is a state actor in a show that requires me to believe in Death Gods

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

experiencing Death Note for the first time in 2022 is, to be frank, wild.

[baby ganoush @ssactrub]

Having not gotten covid yet feels like I've been hiding in the back of a 2+ year long middle school dodgeball game and the front lines have been THINNED

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

@B_Dolan_92 hey look it’s my dying poinsettia

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

@drizzy__dree tbf the NY Post is the racist uncle of newspapers

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

@LolOverruled omg have you watched Addicted to Marriage?! 10/10 recommend

[Chubby Bun, Esq. @LilBunBigWorld]

Today I made such a good prima facie argument that we won and ACS returned the baby that night. Ya girl is crying in the clubbbbbb