Chimi

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

I remember in UK, my friend introduced this 9ja babe to a white guy. The guy called one day confused because he asked her out on a date and she asked him to pay for her uber.

Two of us burst laugh in embarrassment.

[Kalu Aja @FinPlanKaluAja1]

A gentleman says he paid millions to be appointed to lead a government agency.

Then he was asked to send 48% of the agency's takeoff grant to a top politician/civil servant.

This is why you should not waste time on budget announcements; always focus on implementation reports.

Nigeria does not have a revenue problem; Nigeria has a spending problem

[OurFaveOnlineDoc 🇬🇧 🇳🇬 @OurFavOnlineDoc]

In the USA,
President Trump wanted to remove birth citizenship. The matter went to the country’s Supreme Court and the judges ruled against the wishes of the president.

In Nigeria,
The judiciary is in the pocket of the executive and the head of the useless rubber-stamp senate wears the president’s logo on his cap like a demented buffoon.

[Abiodun @bin_gbada]

Buhari borrowed $1 billion loan to fund the rehabilitation of Port Harcourt Refinery.

That loan was backed by a pledge of 67,000 barrels of crude oil per day & repayment started in 2024, with maturity in June 2029.

What this means is that we are using crude oil to repay loan for a non-functional refinery till 2029.

- Where’s Buhari today?
- Where’s Port Harcourt refinery?

[Ocho @magic3hundred]

There’s nothing the govt uses to trick poor people more than skill acquisition after university

[Yehgha @yaygha]

Anytime I see her watching Tv and using her phone, she gets a "one screen at a time" rebuke from me.

Initially, she'd respond with "leave me jor" but I was consistent.

So these days, like a stubborn ill tempered child, she'll act like she didn't hear me for a couple of seconds, before dropping the phone.

Was watching football yesternight and scrolling X, when I heard a stern "one screen at a time!" rebuke from behind.

It was her, doing her best impression of me.

My instinct in such situations is typically to casually dismiss her:

"Go away, woman"

After all, I'm Baba yehgha; no one tells me what to do, least of all a mere woman

But I caught myself, and realised if I did that, I'd lose the moral authority to enforce that same rule with her.
Because for a lesson or principle to be truly persuasive, it has to first apply to its author before it can effectively apply to its audience.

So I dropped the phone.

Then came a smug, satisfactory look on her face.

Moral of the story is that when you're trying to get someone to do or stop doing something, the day they start calling you out for the same misbehaviour is the day you know the lesson is being accepted.

And perhaps most importantly, when you willingly hold yourself to the same standard you've set, you legitimise it in a way no argument or justification ever could.

One of the strongest indicators that you've successfully taught a principle to someone isn't that they obey you, but that they start applying it to you too

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

In your mother's poverty, she sold akara to give you an education. You work with the Presidency in 2026, but your brain has atrophied from lack of use.

Instead of implementing policies that give the Nigerian child a better childhood than you had, you are asking people to fry akara in 2026 and return to your mother's poverty.

[Harri @Harri_obi]

Probably my last few years in Lagos.

I'm seriously considering selling everything and moving to Enugu.

I've worked remotely for the past five years. Beyond the convenience of attending the occasional physical events, I no longer see any meaningful advantage Lagos offers my professional or personal life.

At this stage, I'd rather optimise for quality of life than proximity.

[Sheni Coker @sheni_coker]

The way the Tinubu presidency has completely unmasked the so-called educated people on Twitter is crazy sha. People with PhDs have been reduced to defending kulikuli and akara. Chai.

[Emeodi Mba @EmodiMba]

I just remembered how Ogbeni Dipo take collect money from young people in the name of CV review, & was promoted by notable individuals like Joe Abba & co.

Imagine seeing someone that collected big money for CV review, now advocating for kuli kuli business for you.

Kai.. 😭😭😭

[👑S.A.L.A.K.O🕊 @UnkleAyo]

The year is 2026 and Nigerian elites, government officials, PhD holders, First class graduates ARE

-hold on-

debating and validating the akarafication & kulikulization of citizens as routes to financial autonomy.

Your evidence that God hates you is that he made you Nigerian.

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

The woman selling akara is not praying for her kids to take over the business. She wants to give her child an education that helps him compete in this world.

It is one thing to be overtly stupid. It is another to be heartless.

[PO’s MainChic😎 @D_goodybag]

Whenever Peter Obi speaks, he sees us as people that can be more.

Bola Tinubu & his wife sees Nigerians as slaves.

Always about grains to eat.
This should be from how they see their supporters.

[sc @sxdiqcarter_]

😂😂😂😂calling you brain d3ad isn’t enough . I need a slur that has never been used before.

[Morris Monye @Morris_Monye]

This quote is from a supposed intellectual with a first class in University

Life is very funny.

[Dr Babatunde @enodamade]

They are positioning their children to be leaders of industries, governors, HOR members and lead you.

Shey you know that if you japa and their children japa you guys are not on the same level self. Their children will be prioritized and you will be a freaking IMG

But they are asking you to make akara and kulikuli, you’re here supporting it.

What are you?

[Sir Dickson @Wizarab10]

Have you ever thanked God for your look?

For some of you, the favours you get is all about your look. People are just happy to have you around. Beautiful people are the salt of the earth.

[Harmless @HarmlessHQ]

Attend university with student loan.

Leave university with over N2 million debt to the government.

Start frying akara at the coastal road to repay the loan.

Get kidnapped.

Use your entire life savings and family inheritance to pay half of the ransom and sacrifice your right hand to make it up.

Get released by the kidnappers and start selling kuli kuli because you don't have right hand again to fry akara.

Sell kuli kuli by the day and beg for alms at night because you have N2 million debt to the government.

APC vision 2031.

[Omoye✨🫶 @0moyeh]

When e reach time to shake nyash, we'll call you.

Sit this one out.

[Kalu Aja @FinPlanKaluAja1]

When you scrap FAAC, you will see the economic power of the North

Then you will realise corn, soybeans and cows are as valuable as oil and gas

The North that should face lithium and silica are chasing “oil-producing” status

The Sarduana built a world-class economy based on groundnuts, tin, and columbite. Today, his legacy holders are chasing NNPC for contracts to import PMS

FAAC is fake life