LimerickLeaks

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[James Taranto @jamestaranto]

Alison Lundergan Grimes
Got thousands and thousands of dimes
From her dear old father
And that's why they'd bother
To charge him with multiple crimes

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#BREAKING
There once was an agent named #Strzok
Caught sexting his mistress of fuck
When the trail was chased
The logs were “misplaced,”
Giving Strzok a stroke of good luck.

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

There once was a shock jock Roseanne
Whose show had a Britcom’s lifespan.
This means offensive speech
Now lacks televised reach
Except for what airs on C-Span.

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#BREAKING
There once was a newsman named #Rose
Walked around without any clothes.
You can show em' your rear
When you closely adhere
To the code of “Rose before Hos.”

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

There once was a young “actress” named Stormy
Who got cash for an NDA form she
Found had never been signed,
So she could speak her mind
About banging a prez who’s not "normy".

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#LEAK
Wolf packs run wild in DC
Their howls amplified by TV.
Like the fabled boy
Who cried wolf for joy,
This shouting has lost potency.

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#ANALYSIS $APPL
There was a tycoon named Cook
Richer than sultans and crooks.
To get wealthy quick
Just learn from his trick
They call it “Cook”-ing the books.

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#DEVELOPING
There once was a shock jock named Reid
Caught penning a bigoted screed.
When the mobs raised a cry
She tried her old standby:
Claim the servers got Hillary’ed

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

There once was a showman named #Hannity
Whose brown nose should spoil his vanity.
Watch his legal matters
Soon fall into tatters
When his own lawyer pleads insanity

[Leo Strauss @DeadLeoStrauss]

There once was a man called Decius
Who had a peculiar thesis:
That men should be eager
to make Trump their Caesar--
Did Jaffa not teach him Phronesis?

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#WorldPoetryDay
There once was a skin flute named Zuck
Who must really think you a schmuck.
There’s never a doubt
He’s selling you out,
Leaking data for the quick buck.

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#STUDY There once was a weenie named Ryan
So scared of debt it had him cryin’
To kick his fear in the butt
He passed a lavish tax cut
A tale of courage most inspirin’.

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#StormyDanielsDay https://t.co/4rqIZQHKUu

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

There once was a young “actress” named Stormy
Who got cash for an NDA form she
Found had never been signed,
So she could speak her mind
About banging a prez who’s not "normy".

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

@IMSMODE Which media is unsure? https://t.co/uDwtr8rX8U

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#WorldPoetryDay
There once was a skin flute named Zuck
Who must really think you a schmuck.
There’s never a doubt
He’s selling you out,
Leaking data for the quick buck.

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

@Distopos @HLMenckenBot Quite true!

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#BREAKING #REXTILLERSON
There’s no job that’s worse than Rex’s
A boss who constantly vexes,
Publicly disputed,
Then finally booted,
It’s time to head home to Texas

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#BREAKING
There once was a bro named #Shkreli
Who landed himself in hell. He
Pushed @laurenduca for hugs
And jacked up prices on drugs.
Let’s hope they throw out his cell key.

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

There once was a young “actress” named Stormy
Who got cash for an NDA form she
Found had never been signed,
So she could speak her mind
About banging a prez who’s not "normy".

[LimerickLeaks @LimerickLeaks]

#ANALYSIS
There once was a boy prince named Kush
Sought rank for a private wealth push.
He married the waif
And thought himself safe
But still got kicked square in the tush.