Lindsey

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Every time a guy on tinder suggests we actually hang out

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Excited to finally catch up on Handmaid’s Tale now that it doesn’t feel like I’m just watching a documentary from the future

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Me as a toddler and me as a drunk adult getting home after a night out are the same

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Thanks #PokemonGO for bringing up some pretty deeply rooted childhood conflicts between me and my brother

[Beth McColl @imbethmccoll]

I'm a cat person so I can admit that cats are evil criminals from hell but also they're sweet angels who have done NOTHING wrong ever .

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

A question that I still need an answer to https://t.co/y98qC294xq

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Who wrote black out or go back to wyoming on the white board in my kitchen?

[Bob Vulfov @bobvulfov]

I'd rather have a crying baby on my flight than a white dude who just did a trip to thailand and cant stop talking about it

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

I wonder if this will be the year that I finally work up the courage to say "just your mom" when my doctor asks about # of sexual partners

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Maybe drinking all of the wine to "free up some counter space" wasn't the best way to start cleaning the kitchen but honestly idk I'm drunk

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Forever wondering wtf happened the time I woke up and my last Google search of the night was "inspirational children with disabilities"

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

"Are you just laughing so I'll leave you alone?"-quote from Bojack Horseman/summary of my day to day interactions with everyone

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Does it mean I have low self esteem if I spend 30-45 min/day wondering if my fish loves me back?

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

LOL at Donald Trump for thinking that women don't already get punished for getting abortions

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR YEARS QUIZUP IT DOESN'T WORK

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

New date idea for the millenials #gettestedandchill

[JO)KEWEST @JOKEQUEST200]

I appreciate facebook. before it, I had to physically go over to every acquaintance's house and secretly rifle through their photographs.

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

The way I react to my alarm going off makes me think I must be repressing some memory of being violently assaulted by an alarm clock

[Lindsey @LindsGoins]

Sounds like this elephant and I deal with rejection in shockingly similar ways

[Jake Flores 🇵🇸🇲🇽 @feraljokes]

i'm starting to think that this is the last season of America and the writers are just going nuts