Lindsay Stern

Accept who you are, unless you're a serial killer. - Ellen Degeneres

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

"You think you have lost your faith but you have not.

You have only misplaced your faith.

And you can find it, where it lies now, deep in your soul

And the way to do that is through the simple process of love.

Love yourself. Forgive yourself."

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

Why I would rather be able to instantly speed around careless fucking fools who can’t drive.

In this essay I will argue how tiny women should have Turbo engines as a need, not a want

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

Y’all about two shows away from forcing me to buy VHS tapes and recording stuff I can keep forever. Monetizing things that used to be free when I already pay per month is actual extortion.

We brought cable tv to its knees bitch, and we’ll do it again

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

Finally my President.

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

All I need are the hours of operation, not to wonder who let that happen 😂

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

Why does the site for my county’s township not have a cert...

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

Talking market fluctuations and grabbing one of the last remaining laptop models of that series got me like

THEY GO FOR 15 HOW YOU PAY 22?? 💁🏻‍♀️

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

Scott furiously pleads for Alexa to play his obscure artists like a hopeful kid searches for their exact name in a souvenire mug rack

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

Would like to take this rare time I have on twitter to brag on my disti sales rep for snagging me the last remaining ThinkPad this side of November

Jorie out here saving lives.

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

This just in: You can look like an elf without pricey prosthetics all by wearing a mask that’s just a little too tight.

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

We spent all day at the beach and now Babygirl acting like a domantrix with the cat’s bird toy just to make me laugh. Life is great sometimes.

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

My mission: Find donuts that hit harder than the feee donut holes used to after church.

[SHAMROK ☘️☘️☘️ @SHAMROKis3LC]

Lmao ayo I was just playing keys and this pastor comes thru and kills it. Peep the walk off at the end 😂😂😂

[Waiting to Oxtail @ThatDudeMCFLY]

When she got bath bombs in her insta story 5 times a week.

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

And the lord said “What Netflix shall take away in commercials, YouTube will give back in ads.”

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

@JustinMurphy Damn she can’t hang then 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

@JustinMurphy And then what happened??

[Lindsay Stern @LindsayStern1]

Ever since quarantine started the graffiti on train cars has been popping OFF. These people have time for shapes and color gradients like never before.

[kawaiiken🍥 @Kennedy_Moore16]

this white man jogged 2 miles through his neighborhood carrying a TV in his hands to prove that “looking like a suspect” who committed robbery isn’t a good enough excuse for the murder of ahmaud aubrey. his neighbors smiled and waved at him as he ran by. im speechless. RT RT RT‼️

[Noor @n00r_p]

NHS workers: can we get a pay rise?

Government:

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

In Denmark, starting pay at McDonald’s is about $22 an hour. The workers there get six weeks of paid vacation, a year’s paid maternity leave and a pension plan. Like all Danes, they enjoy universal medical insurance and paid sick leave. This is what a civilized society is about.