Lindsay MacRae

My little sister is weirder than I am.

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

COVID has me feeling a little like Rapunzel in her tower... except I have the keys...and don't require a prince to leave...and it's raining...and people and their parties are terrible...

Come to think of it I might be the witch, my hair certainly thinks so.

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

My friends and I are now sharing pictures of our quarantine plant babies. I guess there was a baby boom as a result of #COVID19 😅

#plantmom #Millennials #Quarantine #babyboom

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

@NetflixBeNL: We just added a TV show you might like.

Me: OMG, IS IT SEASON 6 OF BROOKLYN NINE NINE?!?!

Netflix: Nope but it IS another reality TV show, a genre you have no history of watching!

#COVID19 #Netflix #BrooklynNineNine #Cansomeonepleasefixthis

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

Anyone ever noticed that the moment women stopped feeling pressured to smile, people came up with a "socially acceptable" way to tell them that they looked like a bitch if they didn't?

#restingbitchface #2amthoughts #COVID19 #stressedandnotreadytoimpress

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

Day 5 of quarantine

I'm now letting my hand hang off my bed in the hopes that the monster underneath isn't self isolating as well.

Spoiler alert: they are.

#Covid_19 #coronavirus #SelfIsolation #extrovertproblems

[kai ❤️ @post_hog]

it’s so interesting that the first generation of kids who were used as props by their instagram influencer moms have grown up and are now asserting their own agency. and their reaction isn’t exactly a surprise. who would want their childhood to be online like this?

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

Me: So a hospice called me this morning. I know because I googled the number, but we don't know anyone in a hospice or anyone needing palliative care...

Mom: Maybe someone saw you after a night out and made a pre-emptive call?
#momshade

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

Turns out it wasn't an abbreviation but an airport code. It's fine. I'm fine. It's only an hour of my life. It's all fine.

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

When your partner is hip with the kids and you spend your time googling acronyms like #wheredoyoucomeupwiththese #canyoujustspellthisoneout #please 😭😭😭

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

Sometimes fights are like plucking your eyebrows. You might be able to make some headway, but in the end, you need to know when to stop, before you start making it worse.

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

Step 1: Start eating a fruit
Step 2: Realise it doesn't taste good
Step 3: Looks around for a parent or a partner to give it to
Step 4: Remembers that am single and alone
Step 5: Considers that this might be a contributing factor to the aforementioned
Step 6: Discards theory.

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

I'm going to be healthy today

*eats bowl of hummus with a handful of carrots*

Still counts.

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

Me: I hate math.

Also me: If I cut my shower down to three minutes and breakfast down to five, I can hit the nine-minute snooze three more times and only be five minutes late.

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

Boy: Why do you have so many pillows?

Me: So that I have something to cuddle when you're not around.

Inner me: pillow forts.

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

@A_vanLieshout So I just discovered that people could tweet at me and found where all of those where hidden #enlightened

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

Quote of the day from my housemate who apparently, after smelling my garbage, proceeded to go out and buy the same consumables that I do....

[Lindsay MacRae @Lindsay_MacRae]

@JESSI hope you're having a lovely night (couldn't fit it in previous message) come see the vagina monologues in February! #vdaywestern