Corporate Drone

A place to talk about work without getting reported to HR or psychological services

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

No babe I love your very manual Excel model. The automated ones scare me.

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

I also have dealt with my fair share of dumb LinkedIn messages from clueless recruiters, so I too am like a World Cup star

[Colin Millar @Millar_Colin]

Cape Verde centre back Roberto 'Pico' Lopes has spent his entire career in Ireland, ignored a LinkedIn message from Cape Verde FA asking him to play for them because it was in Portuguese. A year later, they sent it in English. He accepted. An all-time great World Cup story.

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@sputniksimper

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

“Yeah, I know Excel pretty well. I can change the column widths and print scale.”

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

Just landed in Japan and every person just speaks English to me on sight. All I ask is that you please speak Japanese into my translation app because I prefer subs over dubs.

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@sputniksimper Nothing quite like the piece of humble pie that comes with playing soccer with any non-American.

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@sputniksimper This is a certified banger

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

Don’t dress up as a children’s cartoon character if you’re an aggressive drunk. Almost got into a fight with Scooby Doo and Steve from Blue’s Clues over the weekend

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@sputniksimper You're cold? Grow up fr

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

Glad I could get that deliverable out for you on schedule, now if you could just answer one last question…

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

My name is in my god damn Email address, how do you misspell it?

My name is in my god damn Email address, how do you misspell it?

My name is in my god damn Email address, how do you misspell it?

My name is in my god damn Email address, how do you misspell it?

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

For $20, I will join your office’s Happy Hour and gaslight the hell out of whatever coworker of yours you want.

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@sputniksimper

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

Toilets at work way too sensitive on movement. It feels like it’s trying to act like a bidet when I shift to wipe every time!

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

HR professionals posting on LinkedIn about a million ways to recruit Gen Z without mentioning making the pay competitive

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@sputniksimper Less posting typically means better mental health tbh

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

Coworker hit me with the “it’s dead today.” Looked at his laptop at 4 PM and his email hadn’t updated since Friday lmao.

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@sputniksimper If you have that instead of teams, it’s a step in the right direction. Could be explained as “trying to make a model for this request.”

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

If I walk by your desk and you have Teams on one screen and Email on another, I know your ass ain’t doing shit rn. Might as well have a blank desktop up

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@anonfpa

[Corporate Drone @LinkedInHater]

@sluttycigarette @sputniksimper Thought the original was just a meme until I see your tweet…