LiquorStoreClerk

I work at a liquor store, I hate the people who shop here. Don't shop here and I won't hate you.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

Oa

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

And, yes, it is spelled with a "k" instead of a "c". Because it's "hip", that's why.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

Why do I feel dead inside for having to offer the world "Bakon" vodka? Bacon. Flavored. Vodka. I'm starting to think the Mayans are right.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

There's a guy in the store right now arguing with his "old lady" on speaker phone. I don't think they like each other that much.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

@Tabby_Tab_Tab @TuckerBeau Sounds like the dildos I got shopping here today.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

Apparently, the name of this liquor store is "Let's Make A Deal Liquor Store". I've had 3 customers haggle w/ me on prices today. #F.O.A.D.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

Guy w/ a bleeding head wound just walked in & said "It's a great day, getting a Four Loko & the band is getting back together" #GoodNews

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

A woman just walked in, saw my Octoberfest display, and asked me if Octoberfest was this month. Yes, she was blonde. #SorryBlondeFollowers

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

Attention overweight female customers, Skinny Girl products DO NOT ACTUALLY MAKE YOU SKINNY. Thank you, have a nice day.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

Mail in rebates only serve to confuse the mouth breathers that shop here.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

Remember, if a customer makes a special order make sure they have teeth. People w/o teeth tend to be filthy liars who never come back. #true

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

I'm going to call this "The Summer of the Stink"...because customer BO has been the most rank I've ever smelt...and it's been day after day.

[“King Bedtime” Steven Baucom @KingBedtime]

Can eveyone stop pretending Pabst Blue Ribbon is drinkable? Serously you guys, someone's going to get hurt.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

If you use a Bluetooth, especially while walking around my store, you are a self important dickhole who can't go 5 minutes w/o talking.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

This is like if a unicorn mated with a mermaid. http://t.co/UAU9hmCm

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

We serve ONLY the finest customers.

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

@Tabby_Tab_Tab @ctuck2121 It's the little things that keep us going, no?

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

When customers come in talking on a cell phone, I shout "WELCOME TO THE LIQUOR STORE!"...then I watch them squirm. #NoShameInMyGame

[LiquorStoreClerk @LiquorStoreBoy]

Yes, I have wiped a booger on a bottle that I know a douche bag of a customer is getting ready to purchase. I call it #BoogerJustice