Lib: "Happy birthday."
USA: "Thanks!" (Eating apple pie)
Lib: "You’re not perfect."
USA: "Yeah…okay."
Lib: "People say you’re exceptional."
USA: "Oh, that’s nice!"
Lib: "You ARE exceptional."
USA: "Thank you?"
Lib: "What makes you exceptional is that we can still change everything that is so crappy about you! YOU ARE PRETTY TERRIBLE."
USA: "This seems like a time and place issue. It’s my birthday."
Lib: "And on every single birthday you have disappointed me."
USA: "I never said I was perfect. But I feel pretty proud of what we’ve built."
Lib: "YOU NEED TO BE DIFFERENT. YOU’RE SUCH A HYPOCRITE."
USA: "Becoming better was kinda the point. There’s a plan for doing that in my birth docs."
Lib: "And here you are, obsessing over your good traits and accomplishments ON YOUR BIRTHDAY."
USA: "Mm-hmm, that seems kinda normal."
Lib: "GAH, YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY!"
USA: "I think maybe you're just not interested in a bday party?"
Lib: "Oh, great tolerance! Way to live up to your values! This is what I MEAN about you!"