College Counselor • Empowering students to own their journey & be authentic🦄 I tweet @CUinCollege • Guest @NPR @WCIA3 • Super-fan @JeremyHobson & @Sasha_Velour
I just turned 47
You may think my life is half over...
I feel like my life is just getting started
Here are the 47 biggest lessons I've learned so far...
1) Quit drinking Alcohol
Bad bosses insist that work comes first. They reward workaholism and punish outside interests.
Good bosses support balance. They encourage nights & weekends off.
Great bosses expect people to put loved ones above their jobs. They forbid missing important family events for work.
We shouldn’t see our opinions as cherished possessions. We should treat them like everyday clothes.
Look at the views in your closet that were trendy once. Discard the ones that look silly to you now.
Wear the ideas that fit you today. Be ready to outgrow some of them tomorrow.
The most important reason to treat people well is not what you'll get in return. It's who you hope to become.
Kindness is not about reciprocity or karma. It's about character.
Civility doesn't need to be justified with consequences. Respecting others is the right thing to do.
Simone Biles taught a valuable lesson at the Olympics:
Overcoming adversity takes time. Resilience is not about how quickly you bounce back—it’s about how fully you recover.
You can’t judge people’s strength when they fall. Their fortitude is visible when they rise again.
Love you, Lee! @Lee_Rawles You are the “why” and purpose of my work. 27 years after your graduation and we still reach out to each other. ❤️🙏❤️ #blessing I’m sending you love and appreciation ☺️
Admirable traits of strong leadership:
1. Humility - a beginner’s mindset that is open to new ideas and less judgmental. A mindset free of prejudice. A quiet mind that values actions and impact above words.
2. Honestly - radical transparency with grace and dignity. The ability to give feedback without causing resentment is a superpower. The ability to admit mistakes quickly and to ask for forgiveness. And a willingness to show vulnerability.
3. Self-awareness (situational awareness) - reading the room and balancing one’s contributions to ensure a value exchange that benefits all. Knowing when to speak and when to listen. Knowing that given a choice of being clever or kind, being kind is right choice. It is balancing ambition with value.
4. Sense of humor - do not take yourself too seriously and stay accessible. Show passion and ambition but not at a cost to others. Make people comfortable and at ease. Laugh loudly but welcome humor with open arms. But not at the expense to others. Happy people smile more.
5. Active listening (hear the unsaid and listen with your eyes) - if you are waiting for a pause, so that you can speak, you are not truly listening. And the most important part of listening is the ability to hear the unsaid. Sometimes the best way to support and help others is to give your undivided attention.
6. Interest in others (empathy) - be interesting first. The goal is to leave people better than when you found them. Everyone you meet knows more about something than you do. Care more about the people around you. This is my definition of servant leadership.
7. Generosity (giving) - the coolest people I know are unselfishly generous with their time and knowledge. Give more than you take. And give without expecting a get. The strongest leaders give more than they take. Takers may end up with more, but givers sleep better at night.
8. Intellectual curiosity -learn to search for the grounded truth. And be willing to change your mind when the facts and the truth contradicts your prior beliefs. The strongest leaders are lifelong students. And also lifelong teachers. Start with 4 word: what do you think?
9. Good manners - be nice and polite to all. This may be life’s biggest hack. Say ‘thank you’ and ‘please’ more. Hold doors a bit longer. Do not interrupt people. Do not brag. Do not shout or speak poorly of others. Be a good person, but do not waste time trying to prove it.
10. No sense or entitlement - the world does not owe you a thing. The best people that I know are not chasing compliments or validation. Learn to fight for your happiness and do it with dignity, optimism and grace. Fall in love with the work, not the praise.
11. Positioning for shared success - In a celebration, lead from the back. In a crisis, lead from the front. In the company of someone that has a better idea, follow first. Leadership is all about positioning and standing in the right places.
12. Legacy of servant leadership - The best leaders leave everything and everyone better than when they found them. You will be remembered by how often you helped others achieve their goals.
13. Grit and persistence - Some things are hard to teach: sense of urgency, critical thinking, creativity, customer empathy, team commitment, humility, unselfish giving, judgement, grace and dignity, positivity, optimism, bias towards results, active listening; Strong leaders teach the hard stuff.
August 1 is just around the corner, and Common App has you covered with step-by-step guides on filling out your application and taking the next step in your education journey! 🌟
First-year guide: https://t.co/Rh5gzAxhgW
Transfer guide: https://t.co/Fjew2U43W8
JENSEN HUANG: “Resilience matters in success. I don’t know how to teach it to you, except for: I hope suffering happens to you .. because .. greatness comes from character. And character isn’t formed out of smart people. It’s formed out of people who suffered.” $NVDA
@ValaAfshar
The hallmark of an open mind is refusing to let your ideas become your identity.
If you define yourself by your opinions, questioning them is a threat to your integrity.
If you see yourself as a curious person or a lifelong learner, changing your mind is a moment of growth.