henry

| 27 | J.D. labor law | nba enjoyer | degen gamer |

[🇧🇦 Horacije Dobravolja, dobavljač tonika 🇧🇦 @eff_hey]

Attempting a nonchalant gimmick about a home World Cup is absolutely fucking disgraceful lol

[Dean Ammi @AlgerianFooty]

🗣️ “I want to say thank you to Algeria for choosing Lawrence, Kansas.” 🇺🇸

The locals in USA are all getting behind Algeria. 🇩🇿

[Noah Ramirez @jnoahramirez]

Claudio never failed to supply my friends and I at dive bars on the west side of Chicago when we were stress-drinking during law school.

A true Chicago legend.

[𝕯𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉 Moroz @Dread_Botlord]

i’m not kidding when i say that Giannis being a Kalshi partner should make him ineligible to play NBA games. if you for make him either divest or ban him you might as well just get Tim Donaghy back in the league for all the integrity the game will have.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[kit @kitt_er]

Source tells me Charlie is stable.

Please god

[Wake Up Barstool @wakeupbarstool]

A look into @StuartFeiner’s gambling philosophy

[henry @LiterallySoFree]

Mfw my job tells me I’m not allowed to make multiple live mlb parlays every day on the company WiFi

[henry @LiterallySoFree]

Raise you hand if debate poisoned your writing with a liberal use of em dashes and now chat gpt has commandeered their usage so you can’t use them anymore 🖐️

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

If you're using AI to write essays, eulogies, a text to your wife, I do think less of you as a person. Ceding your mental and creative abilities to a machine is an embarrassing thing and people should be ashamed to admit doing it in public.

[henry @LiterallySoFree]

@accursedcher Italian on main stolen valor 😡

[Corey Seidman @CoreySeidman]

A legit triumph of journalism. Every person who’s read this is more informed than they were yesterday. Revelations from multiple angles, not just via Embiid. Comprehensive chronicling of all the key moments, just with additional background. And so well-written.

[cold 🥑 @coldhealing]

Kind of entranced by the high school class of 2027 Mississippi State committed punter who recently converted to Islam

[Richard Chow @RichardChow929]

I am Richard Chow, taxi driver. 2021, @ZohranKMamdani supported taxi driver' protest 45 days 24/7, including 15 days hunger strike. He moved his office from Astoria to City Hall side walk. He blocked traffic with us and arrested. We WON Debt Forgiveness.
He is our hero.❤️

[henry @LiterallySoFree]

“Are you ready for your tanking lessons?”

**Utah Jazz gulps**

**Charlotte Hornets breathe heavily**

**Washington Wizards nod nervously**

**New Orleans Pelicans sigh**

“Yes, S&P 500!” they all say in unison

[henry @LiterallySoFree]

@JacquesHoerrida Least gatekeeping Cornell graduate

[michael wave @michael___wave]

I’ve done a total 180 on this guy. he’s not going to solve death, obviously. but he’s our last victorian gentleman scientist using his money doing mad shit to himself that can barely even be described as a proper experiment. shine on, weirdo

[henry @LiterallySoFree]

@accursedcher W

[Abelito @imchasingdreamz]

coparenting a dog with an ex.

[Montana stensgar @MontanaStensgar]

first game back after injury
19 pts
12 rebounds
11 assist
( some pictures with highlight at end)