Stuff My Kid Says

Mother to two boys who say ridiculous things. Here for your entertainment

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

Me: Why’d you try to draw on the couch with markers?
4: cuz my friends told me to. Me: will you do everything friends say? 4: Yes because they’re my friends. #goodstart🙄#jumpingoffthebridgetalkalready

[StanceGrounded @_SJPeace_]

His parents told him "it’s time to go bye-bye", so he gave every stranger a hug.

My heart 😭

RETWEET THIS ❤️

[Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy]

Shoutout to all the moms struggling to keep it all together while fighting for their mental health. You’re a warrior, and you’re not alone.

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

@ScaryMommy Been struggling lately - needed this

[Salty Mermaid Entertainment @saltymermaident]

Listen, frozen meal instructions, never in the history of owning microwaves have I known the wattage of any microwave

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

Did the box hurt you, B?
L- Boxes are not alive actually, Mom. #thankskid #parenting

[Candy Keane @SewGeekMama]

O. M. G. My life today was this. All this. https://t.co/2jJo4SulG7

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“That’s a prince and princess getting married.”
“Married means you meet a boy at a party and Elsa says you can’t marry him.”
#parenting

[MyMomologue @MyMomologue]

What H.S. students SHOULD be quoted as saying:
"Have a great summer!"

What H.S. students ARE quoted as saying:
"It's been happening everywhere. I always felt like eventually it would happen here. I wasn't surprised, I was just scared."
-Paige, student at Santa Fe High School

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“The thunder is just angels bowling, honey.” “But mommy, sometimes angels hit people with the bowling balls.” #thatbackfired #parenting

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

Life would be much simpler if my child understood what “hot” and “cold” actually mean.

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“Look a deer!”
“Ohh Santa lost a reindeer.”
“Look again, there’s two!!”
“Santa lost two reindeer?! That’s strange.” 🤔
#parenting #funnykids

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“MOMMY I WANT MY WINDOW DOWN!”
“Not if you ask by yelling.”
“May I please have my window down?”
“You haven’t been nice.”
“BUT I DIDNT YELL!”

[Lauren Mullen @DraggingFeeties]

Me: Don't forget the most important part of baking cookies-

*in unison*
Son: Having fun!
Daughter: Putting some of the dough aside for when Mommy gets sad!

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“Mommy can I have that for my birthday? And can you get it in the box that comes in the mail?”
#amazon #primeshoppers #parenting #funnykids

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“Mommy my hair around my ears is long.”
“I can cut it, landon.”
“Ohhh, that would be interesting!”
#truth #parenting #funnykids

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“Let’s work together and then if we don’t work together, it’s called ‘not working together.’”
#thanksforclearingthatup

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“Goats don’t have milk! Only cows and mommies do.”
#imjustlikeacow

[Stuff My Kid Says @LittleKidsSaid]

“Mommy somebody wrote on daddy’s paper!”

“Who? Was it you?” “No!”

“You sure it wasn’t you?” “Maybe.”

“Probably it was me.”