Adventures of The Little Tittles

A couple of millennial parents just trying to survive and raise their kids. Lets just call it a “How To Guide” on not completely F$&@#ing up your kids

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

https://t.co/3sSpK9YQRg

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

My 4 yr olds school had show and tell today (anything lava or volcano related). He takes Obin Wan Kenobi, Darth Vader and Darth Sidious figures to explain how Anakin Skywalker fell in the lava and became Darth Vader!#ProudDad @RealFPJr @HamillHimself

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Daughter gets new baby doll in the mail from her grandparents, my wife asks me to ask her what she named it. I asked her.... her response, “asshole baby.” I said honey did you say asshole baby, she said yeah and walked away. She now calls her brother this when he whines!

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

My son was chanting “you’re a rascal” while I was changing after work. I said “you’re silly buddy, why are you calling me a rascal?” Son:”I’m not daddy you’re an asshole, but asshole’s a bad word.��� Then he smiles and exits room!

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Really or is this a prank!?!?

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Kids came by to see me at work and get a cookie. I notice my son has a Diet Coke in his hand and he tells me “mommy needs this!”

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Little Tittle’s don’t Walmart without #STARBUCKS first! #divakids

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

My morning FaceTime call with my kids this morning started with “hey dad I can’t talk I need my vitamins, magnesium, and some water love you bye.”

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Our daughter (2 yrs old) at Red Robin yells at the kitchen, “I’m hungry where’s my burger!?!” Wife tells me that in her defense she does get #Hangry

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Last night’s dinner discussion: kids told me I don’t grow my hair out because I have an ugly hair color! P.S. both kids and wife are blonde, I’m bald!

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Jena and I are starting our own Twitter and Blog. The Adventures of… https://t.co/dJV6jcx6qA

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Just had a nice FaceTime with the kids. I asked them where they were at today and they said in the car, duh!

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Got home after a long day of work yesterday and was greeted by my kids doing yardwork in the front yard(very. Norman Rockwell like). I got out the car with groceries and was told to go back to work poop head! Kids say the sweetest things!

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

So the wife and I leave our waters sitting around the house, the kids asked, “who’s water is this?” before drinking. We reply back with why does it matter, they went on to say because daddy’s is probably vodka...

[Adventures of The Little Tittles @LittleTittles]

Our 4 yr old son refuses to go to Animal Kingdom Monday because he says “they don’t treat their animals good.” Wife’s response to him: no buddy...that’s SeaWorld!