Liv Rocklin

I just want to grow up, drink wine, and pet my dog 💼 🍷 🐶 Aspiring struggling comedian 🎤 Music video for my comedic song “The New York City Song” (link ⬇️)

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

Kick off your 2020 by watching my premiere hour long stand up and musical comedy special!

https://t.co/CkFWCxjtiv

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

I have to stop listening to audiobooks of memoirs because I give people the benefit of the doubt until I hear in their tone they meant exactly what I was worried they did.

[Horror4Kids @horror4kids]

ok but omg there’s a halloween dog parade in new york

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

I’m always so genuinely surprised when my boss asks me to do work. Like…I GOT a job I thought that’s sorta where all this ended.

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

@sethmabry1 President Swift.

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

*me trying to pick a couch to buy in a real life store, sitting on a couch*

Sales guy: so what do you think? Is this the right couch?
Me: it’s tough to tell just sitting on it for 30 seconds. Could I sit here and watch 4 hours of reality TV and then see how my back feel?

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

My life is a mess and it’s all falling apart but I just started taking magnesium so I should be all good soon

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

Tbh if you had asked me yesterday when Captain Sully landed the plane in the Hudson I would have said roughly 1974.

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

Started and ended 2022 on the same dose of Prozac so that seems like a win.

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

I saw a sign that said “Jesus is coming, are you ready?” And tbh my first thought was “hm I should swiffer.”

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

Imagine Harry Potter gets sorted into Hufflepuff after experimenting in college

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

Don’t you hate when the barista asks for your social security number?

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

It’s funny when my boss is like “you can log this meeting in your time sheet, Liv.”
Like, it’s logged. The 2 minutes it took to reply to your scheduling email is logged. The 45 seconds it took to do duo authentication to log into zoom is logged. If I’m thinking, I’m logging 👍🏻

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

If community and school theatre directors could take a collective 5 years off of doing
-Into The Woods
-Once Upon a Mattress
-Guys and Dolls
-Seussical

I think we’d all be excited to see them again, which would be a new experience.

This is niche but important to me.

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

If you are an actor friend of mine in nyc just know I will always come and support you no matter what you are in unless it is Into the Woods in which case I literally cannot sit through that again sorry

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

Hi BeReal, it’s 11:28pm. I’m going to sleep. You’re too late. It’s over.

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

@TraciStumpf A girl walks into a bar by Rachel Dratch!

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

Life of Pi doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test 😤

[Liv Rocklin @LivRocklin]

Whenever someone offers to order my coffee for me I immediately use like 4 less adjectives than I would have in the order.