Liz Demmon

Just a Tom Holland looking for her Zendaya

[William Banks @williambanks_]

While this tweet is still doing numbers, I want to invite you all to my comedy perform group’s BCC show tonight at 8:30

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

A parent trap where one twin goes to therapy for the trauma caused by their parents separating them and one doesn’t and we see their life as adults

[jamie linn watson @PB_andJamie]

Trader Joe’s at Christmas

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

I’m at that age where I get so upset if a bar only has a single toilet

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

@damienkronfeld Be honest is this about me

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

@williambanks_ Watching history unfold is so exciting

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

I just made myself cry thinking about how much i miss wandering around Blockbuster

[William Banks @williambanks_]

last night someone said I look like Wario with long covid

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

Ginger (the food) tastes like it’s on a gap year

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

I hate all these bigots on the internet saying that a dragon can’t have red hair

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

Tiny girl in a tiny world, so actually she looks normal

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

Their breakup has been so toxic…

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

I’m supposed to be killing all these spotted lantern flies, right? I don’t want to be some creep who’s just killing bugs for fun.

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

Wtf no i didnt. That sucks and is so embarrassing.

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

I love how when i’m hungry my body is like “eat anything! :)” but when i’m thirsty it’s like “drink water right now or i’ll kill you :)”

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

I think I just pulled a muscle in my shoulder doing the worm in my apartment by myself

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

Is catnip just poppers for cats?

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

@PB_andJamie 😅😅😅

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

to the girls from my dream just now: i thought it was very mean of you to not include me in playing Sharks at MY house, and extremely rude that you drank all the margaritas that i made before i had some. i hope i never see you again! xo

[Liz Demmon @LizDemmon]

Pete Davidson looks like a remix