Liz🍒

[Matt. @MattTheBrand]

Hey man do they have any sweet treats at the function or should we pre

[Cloudy 🌥️ @oncIoud_e]

a "massacre" is when 5 americans die and a "chaotic incident" is when 100+ Palestinians are killed

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

The leap day babies are wearing little frog hats

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

when I was a teenager in like 2010 my friends and I used to go to the mall every Tuesday to see a cheap $5 movie and get a $2 "toonie Tuesday" meal at KFC. that is now a $37 night out and the mall we went to is closed

[want a gf @plsfindmeagf]

The world would Be so lost Without Women and garlic

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Please stop letting Tesla owners be Uber drivers how the Fuck do I get out

[Massive Attack @MassiveAttackUK]

There is one: genocide

[HP @amishestrogen]

i’m an ethical hater. i’m hating on u from a nuanced and multifaceted standpoint

[Emily Murnane @emily_murnane]

Oh so you thumbs upped my text instead of hearting it, quick question why do u fucking hate me?

[clare @sadderlizards]

surely one more $30 purchase can’t hurt. just one more

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

“I was born in the wrong generation” Okay well if I didn’t have Google Maps I’d kill myself so now what

[Nat @unfortunatalie]

Manifesting.

[clare @sadderlizards]

yep i’ve got big plans tonight. i’m staying in bed

[clare @sadderlizards]

it’s good to be in love

[* @soiled_plants2]

i got a pink chainsaw and 5 gallons of pickles for christmas