Marie

What kind of witch lives on the beach?
A Sand-Witch.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

Has life ever suckered punched you so bad, and then you get sick on top of it? Our house is a sad house.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

When I started web design as a career, I did not anticipate how many times I'd look exactly like this. Why did this break? Why did this randomly start working again? I definitely don't know the answer.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

I'm SO TIRED of living through awful historical events.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

What sucks is realizing that you view friendships with some people very differently than they do and you're apparently not on the level you thought you were. It'll never stop sucking.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

I want to live in the place knowing multiple people have contacted me for a job, not knowing what comes next.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

Nothing like being approximately 1630 miles away from home while your company is being "transitioned" from being sold and having no idea what's going on. Been an amazing vacation, but holy shit am I ready to be home.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

Thou shalt not shout loudly when discovering a stink bug in thy shoe when thou lives with a combat vet.

Things will fly across the room, he will assume you're dying. All joking aside, it's good to be reminded to practice the art of the silent scream and not trigger anyone.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

New things that make me winded post covid:
Putting on pajamas after my shower
Walking a single pumpkin from my car to the backyard
Pushing a shopping cart of pumpkins through the store
Walking across the house
Sudden movements
Life's funny.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

T-minus 3 days until my hairy Peter is back home!

[ALT-immigration @ALT_uscis]

If you see any Republican yapping about 9/11 today, please remember they refused to extend health care benefits for firefighters who were dying one by one from cancer.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

With so many deaths that I'm close to recently... hug your loved ones close.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

When it's September 1st and I no longer have to feel self conscious with all my fall and Halloween decorations. Win!

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

Nothing sucks more than realizing a friend is trash talking the person you're going to marry. Say it to my face or STFU.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

@KGmeansbusiness Obviously

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

Ope, it's happened. Some random dude asked me to verify my Korn fandom by listing songs off their first album.
Fuck. Off.
Why the fuck is it a question? I've been a fan for decades.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

The BMV used facial recognition to verify that I was who I was, despite handing them my active license, birth certificate, and SS card. If anyone is still spouting "tracking" nonsense, I promise, the government already knows who and where you are.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

The older I get, the more I've learned to stand by friendship is a two way street. If you can't be fucked to care about me and what's happening in my life, don't take an interest, and I'm constantly reaching out first, why should I care about your life?
It's my 2021 angst tweet.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

In these trying times, one important question remains. What is the air speed and velocity of an unladen swallow?

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

Air Force boyfriend and me... we are not the same. I thought it was amazing that I only owed $500 for two different xrays, several doc appointments, and one urgent care visit with steroid shots. He was shocked at how much I owed.
Healthcare is broken in this country.

[Marie @LlamapantsMarie]

@MidwestBasic I would have voted blueberry but I didn't see it in time