legally an adult hobbit

the goat. she screams like a man. 🐈‍⬛🐄🐩

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

One of my passions in life is the Pablo Escobar hippos. Like they're my Ikea monkey? And if you don't understand that, you can't understand me.

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

When are we going to hold boy moms accountable for the assholes they're putting out into this world

[kenzie xcx 🦋 @kenzie__xcx]

if you are arguing over magic mike xxl being ranked over the godfather part two you simply haven’t seen magic mike xxl

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

How do you explain to a man that he's the dullest person you've ever met in your life and you do not want him farming off your aura any longer

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE WHO BLESSED MSG TODAY TO GET THE STANK VIBES OUT YOUR SERVICE IS APPRECIATED

[evan.. @dogparkranger]

i think she's using me for my terrible looks and bad penis and no money

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

slut shaming? no I’m a slut encourager get those titties out for me

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

4 days ago, first person to wish me Happy Pride was a cishet straight man, and I'm still SICK 🤢

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

No, it's fine I wanted to spend an hour watching you get in a drunk argument with your husband about where the speakers are

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

I'm begging everyone to stop making me watch movies on your shitty home projector that you didn't even setup before we got there (with the audio only played from the shitty laptop speakers)

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

YOU HAVE A REGULAR TV WITH SURROUND RIGHT THERE WHAT ARE WE DOING

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

That's my MONTHLY CAR PAYMENT and I've watched you buy every new $500 set they dropped this year. Kill yourself.

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

At a certain point, if I see you've purchased multiple $600+ Lego sets within just a few years, I've put you on my eat the rich list. It doesn't matter if you're just making poor financial decisions. I think you deserve to be robbed.

[Black Media Hub ✊🏿 @BlackMediaHub]

"Many men wanted to lay me down; but few wanted to lift me up" —Eartha Kitt

[william aftons lawyer @genomniverse]

matthew the man that you are

[vintagelover @queennaurelia]

Us in another life

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

Now why do I sleep with the losers? Only the losers are attracted to me OR all men are losers and wlw are not in my vicinity.

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

"Why do you date these losers?" I have never "dated" the losers, I SLEEP WITH the losers which requires no emotional connection to the losers, and then the losers get emotionally attached to me because I'm, unfortunately, kind to them. There's a DIFFERENCE.

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

And that goes on for a few months until I can't mask anymore

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

girl that insists shes evil despite being very loving & actually caring about others very deeply

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

Some of y'all haven't been single since you were 12 & only have the interests of your codependent son---oops I meant boyfriend 🤫

[legally an adult hobbit @LndsyFree]

Sure, I've only dated losers, but at least I developed my own personality, Sweetie 💅🏻