Logan Ury

Author: HOW TO NOT DIE ALONE of Relationship Science @Hinge
Exes: @Harvard @Google @Airbnb @TED
Behavioral scientist/dating coach

[Logan Ury @loganury]

TODAY’S THE DAY! 😍 My first book, HOW TO NOT DIE ALONE, is out now and I couldn’t be more excited to share it with with the world. Grab your copy today: https://t.co/zaiJ9mt8TA

[Logan Ury @loganury]

Do I really have to abandon the em dash — my favorite punctuation mark?!

[Logan Ury @loganury]

A chance to work with my fave

[Mike Wang @zmwang]

We are hiring an Alchemist at Long Journey. I'm giddy about this role! 🧙⚡️

Not to transmute lead into gold. This role blends executive support + content alchemy to channel the creative energy of our firm into to-do lists, project plans, and stories.

https://t.co/4uW3DDQZ6J

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@2Canadians @prompterminal @ShaanVP @thesamparr OK great. If not I was going to be like why do people tag me when they diss me! Just be normal and do it behind my back.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@2Canadians @prompterminal @ShaanVP @thesamparr So confused. Are you saying the facts themselves were abysmal or the the amount of facts (ie not enough) was abysmal?

[Farnam Street @farnamstreet]

Most people date the wrong way. They chase the spark, mistake attraction for compatibility, and expect their partners to read their minds. Then they wonder why relationships don’t last.

Renowned dating expert @LoganUry says the fix is simpler than you think: Stop chasing instant fireworks. "F*** the Spark." Start looking for the “slow burn.”

Listen to the latest episode of The Knowledge Project wherever you get your podcasts.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

I don't remember writing this but I can tell you as a new parent that this is how my husband and I spend most of our time.

[Ghita Filali @theGhitaFilali]

“Many hours of a marriage are spent on the everyday, rarely posted minutiae of life:

Changing dirty diapers, doing laundry, and washing dishes.

Love happens in these moments, not in spite of them.”

— Logan Ury (@loganury)

[Logan Ury @loganury]

Thank you so much @nickgraynews!!!

[Nick Gray @nickgraynews]

I think the best dating book I read this year was "How Not to Die Alone" by @loganury

If you are single and dating a lot but haven’t found The One, you should read this book

These are 10 of my top take-aways plus 9 good quotes

1. The Three C's for a successful relationship are:

Chemistry, Compatibility, and Communication

2. Dating apps are tools, not destiny

They're just one method among many for meeting potential partners. You have to get out of your house, apartment, and workplace every single day. Go to group fitness classes, new coffee shops, grocery stores, say yes to every single invite you get, etc.

fwiw I met the woman I'm dating now at Barton Springs Pool in Austin thanks to a random invite from my friend Katelyn to go hang out

3. The myth of the spark

Initial attraction isn't always a predictor of long-term compatibility!!

4. Your type might be your problem

Expanding your dating criteria can lead to unexpected but fulfilling relationships. This means age range, political leanings, body type, or anything - but I promise you there is happiness outside of your arbitrary limits that might not be serving you today

5. Dating is a skill, not just a stroke of luck

Finding love involves learning and practicing certain behaviors. Stop doing the same stuff you've been doing; it hasn't worked

This is such a small thing for me but I stopped wearing my trademark neon-colored stuff when I wanted to get more serious about dating. First impressions matter. A LOT.

6. I like Logan's idea of the 3-2-1 approach:

Spend 3 hours a week on dating,
go on 2 dates per week, and
bring 1 new person into your life each week.

7. There are 3 dating mindsets:
The Romanticizer,
The Maximizer, and
The Hesitator

I REALLY liked this and I identified myself as a Maximizer. Just learning about these mindsets made the whole book worth it for me

8. Ghosting is the coward's way out

Also sorry if I previously ghosted anyone reading this now

9. The soulmate myth can be harmful

Believing in a perfect soulmate can prevent us from working on real, imperfect relationships.

10. The importance of pre-commitment rituals

Actions you take before deciding on a partner, like discussing values and credit scores, to ensure a good match

Just kidding she didn't say credit scores in the book. I was seeing if anyone is reading my notes. But I do think that, like, if you want kids- or don't want kids- or if you'd never move to California or something, you should talk about these things early

And now here are 9 of my favorite highlights and quotes from the book:

1. "We think we know what we want when it comes to a partner, but our intuition about what will lead to long-term happiness is often wrong."

2. "For every hot person, there is someone out there tired of having sex with them."

3. "We can learn to swipe smarter by expanding our settings to see more people, being less judgmental when we swipe, dating fewer people at a time, and transitioning to the date faster."

4. "Decades of relationship science have revealed what matters for long-term relationship success: things like if the person is emotionally stable, kind, and loyal, and how that person makes us feel."

5. "The best way to spark conversation is to be specific."

6. "Order dessert at the end of the meal. Give the other person a meaningful compliment before you head your separate ways. Take advantage of the peak-end rule."

7. "By default, go for a second date (unless a dealbreaker is violated)."

8. "The things that matter more usually reveal themselves only when you're in a relationship or have gone on at least a few dates."

9. "Great relationships don't just appear in our lives—they're the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one."

OK the end

No joke that this book was extremely helpful to me as I was thinking about getting serious in a relationship

You can listen to it free on Spotify or as a bonus check out her interview on the "Diary of a CEO" podcast because it's a banger - thanks Zach Ware for the tip on that

Good luck and I'm rooting for you!

Did any of these resonate with you?
Or other similar books you recommend?

[Higher Ground @HGMedia]

Finding love has no time limit. From Executive Producer, @MichelleObama, and featuring expert coaching from @loganury, Later Daters is now streaming on @netflix.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

Thank you @MichaelFulwiler!!

[Michael Fulwiler @MichaelFulwiler]

Super proud of my friend @loganury for hosting her own Netflix show. "The Later Daters" is streaming now!

[Jasmine Elle @nature_bae]

Randomly decided to watch “The Later Daters” after someone mentioned it and found out @loganury is the dating coach and Michelle Obama produced the show! I’m locked in for every episode.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@pitdesi @netflix Thank you!

[Logan Ury @loganury]

I’m so excited to share a project I’ve been working on for the last few years — a Netflix show called The Later Daters!

On the show, I coach six inspiring 55+ daters as they seek a second chance at romance.
It comes out Nov 29th so it's the perfectwatch for your Thanksgiving.

[Netflix @netflix]

Discover how six baby boomers redefine love and connection in the heartwarming new series, The Later Daters. Premiering November 29.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@bankerpoet I actually don't think the title is cheesy.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@pitdesi How does it feel? I'm not there spiritually yet.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@Beanbur66036734 Email me! Info on my website.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

TODAY’S THE DAY! 😍 My first book, HOW TO NOT DIE ALONE, is out now and I couldn’t be more excited to share it with with the world. Grab your copy today: https://t.co/zaiJ9mt8TA

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@kevinleeme Thank you! That's me. Most likely he listened to my interview with @StevenBartlett for Diary of a CEO.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@OpenAI This is why we should all avoid situationships.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@McReynoldsJoe @tloatmilklatte I wrote the book before I worked at Hinge.

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@mvarghoose @sashachapin Doing my best!

[Logan Ury @loganury]

@Thashns @FitFounder Thank you!!