The Loneliness Doctor

James K. Ellis, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist working to cure modern loneliness,

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Loneliness isn’t a personal failure. It’s a cultural condition. But you can build connection - on purpose.

[CBS News @CBSNews]

A decades-long decline in the U.S. fertility rate has confounded policymakers and economists alike, with experts pointing to possible causes ranging from the economic fallout of the Great Recession to changing public attitudes about parenthood. Now, one economist is pointing to another factor: the iPhone. https://t.co/s1HYtq3SgC

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

An instagram follower just said "do more that makes you put on your shoes."

I'm adopting it as my new motto for social health!

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Loneliness isn't a flaw, it's a feature.

It's nature's way of letting us know that we need connection, just like hunger lets us know we need nutrition.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Loneliness is deeply uncomfortable, but that’s the point. It’s a signal, not a flaw.

Like hunger tells us to eat, loneliness tells us to reconnect.

We grow when we stop numbing it and start listening to what it’s asking for.

[Hollywood Horror Museum @horrormuseum]

Sadly this is 100% correct

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

When you trust your ability to connect, loneliness loses its power.

You stop waiting for invitations and start creating connections.

Social skills give you control over your social life.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

@DoctorPerin Trauma. 😉

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Loneliness makes neutral interactions feel rejecting.
So people withdraw.
Which increases isolation.
Which increases vigilance.
It’s a feedback loop, not a character flaw.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Older adults with poor mental or physical health are at highest risk of loneliness (Malani et al., 2024).

It’s not just a feeling - it’s a health issue!

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

@ZaraBriggsBooks Truly!

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Loneliness isn’t a personal failure. It’s a cultural condition. But you can build connection - on purpose.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

If you feel like you’re “behind” socially, you’re not!

You’re living in a culture that stopped prioritizing social health - and then blamed individuals for the consequences.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

You don’t need 100 friends. You need a few relationships where your nervous system can exhale.

That’s social wealth!

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

We keep asking why people are anxious and depressed.

But look at what we've lost:
– Knowing your neighbors
– Catching up with your grocery cashier
– Being a “regular” somewhere

We engineered efficiency.
We dismantled belonging.

The environment has changed, humans haven’t.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

We didn’t become lonely overnight.
We optimized for efficiency.
We moved away.
We outsourced community to algorithms.

And now we’re surprised our nervous systems feel chronically unsafe.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

We talk about self-care, but what about 'social care'?

Loneliness can mimic depression, but sometimes the best remedy isn’t solitude...it’s meaningful connection.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Not all screen time is the same.

Apps that spark real conversations reduce loneliness - scrolling doesn’t!

(Luhmann et al., 2025).

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

@JGBriggsPhD @NashSevereWx Oh no. I hope you get your power back soon and that everyone's safe.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Wanting connection doesn’t make you weak.
It makes you alive, attuned, and wired correctly.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Psychologist Jeffrey Hall found it takes 50+ hours to turn an acquaintance into a friend and 200+ for a close bond.

Friendships don’t just happen; they’re built.

Be intentional. Reach out. Schedule time together.

[The Loneliness Doctor @Loneliness_Doc]

Before you assume you're burned out or depressed, ask: When was my last fulfilling conversation?

When did I last feel truly seen?

Loneliness can mask itself as many things.