wizard

fruit of the goon

[wizard @LongstaffWizard]

pall blorb: malp cart

[Hughes-on-the-Wold @NotThatHughes]

I did a bit of research on this and it turns out he's German, the song is shit and the royal family paid hush money to cover Andrew's involvement with Epstein.

[𝗦𝗧🐺🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿¹⁸ @WWFC_ST21]

Makes you proud to be British

[Luke Savage @LukewSavage]

"If you don't like that, if you don't like the changes that we've made, I say the door is open, and you can leave". - Keir Starmer, February 15 2023

[wizard @LongstaffWizard]

Bracing myself for the outrage from the ‘don’t waste are taxes!’ brigade. Sure they’ll be incensed by this development.

[Good Morning Britain @GMB]

Reports this morning claim the late Queen lent the-then Prince Andrew £7 million, so he could pay off his sex abuse accuser, Virginia Giuffre, and stop her taking him to court.

@NickDixonITV has the latest.

[cants @cantseyy]

I've put sky sports news on and there's somebody called Flex representing United fans and I genuinely hope we never win another game

[Andy @_andrewkerr_]

Sitting on a freezing cold toilet seat first thing in the morning has surely got to have some of the same benefits that ice baths supposedly have

[wizard @LongstaffWizard]

mob goon on the phone to his boss:

[Manchester United @ManUtd]

🗯️ "We are taking care of his body now."

The boss has discussed how we're getting the best out of Luke Shaw this season 💪
https://t.co/EzXvHPQ2F7

[mooms : WCP (world cup pervert) @Danny_McMoomins]

This whole recent Liverpool thing is very Manchester United coded. They want to be us so badly.

[Ewan @jelly_pack]

I know it's not an original observation, but it's still mind-blowing how much British Nationalism is explicitly a project to replace all of British culture and sovereignty with a total, religious subservience to America.

[wizard @LongstaffWizard]

breakout contender for biggest Didn’t Happen of the Year award

[Aj @Ajwritescrypto]

I got in a fight over Charlie Kirk.

They swung on me first to be fair; self defense.

I hit them once for Charlie.

Once for hating Trump.

And one more for getting blood on my Rolex.

He’s out cold as I’m tweeting this. 🤷‍♂️

Cops should be here any minute. Wish me luck!

[Nate Bear @NateB_Panic]

These moments are always a fascinating insight into the delusional esteem Americans hold themselves in. Spare us the tripe about what America is and isn't. This is what you are. This is what you were founded on. This is what you do. This is what you have made

[wizard @LongstaffWizard]

*extremely ITV2 voice* that Craig David Just Eat ditty ain’t half bad

[wizard @LongstaffWizard]

come a long way @hawleyjacob hair’s looking great too

[Not Match of the Day @NOT_MOTD]

This is class 😂😂

[wizard @LongstaffWizard]

how about you Reform your personality and get some mates, fucking dweeb

[Seán @seandw14]

The double bosh, the separate reference for Ireland as distinct from the UK, I could go on. We are witnessing the greatest posting run of all time.

[rhys 🍉🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @saccharinegreen]

only in britain do people believe this kind of shit

[Loïc @Fremond_]

The single worst thing about AI is that it has empowered the philistine.

The whole point of Nighthawks is its tension, its silence, its stillness. Instead, you get an endless corridor of autogenerated detail, destroying the singular aura of the work.

[jonny is fed up with Yank Nonsense @sensiblehuman96]

Who would have thought in the 80s, when Margaret Thatcher said ‘there’s no such thing as society’ before asset stripping the country, tearing down our cultural institutions, and valuing profit, greed and cheap labour above everything, that we would face societal collapse.

[David__Osland @David__Osland]

There's a real danger that the left will drag Britain back to the 1970s, with secure well-paid jobs, ample housing, properly-funded NHS and social care, free tuition, student grants, final salary pensions, affordable rail fares and fabulous films and music