Not Chris Patten

Lord Patten of Barnes, keen gardener and occasional media exec. Vent your fury at me I secretly like it

[Not Chris Patten @LordPatten]

Lucky pants day #fuckyouMPs

[Not Chris Patten @LordPatten]

I am so unbelievably rich I could buy back Hong Kong #fuckyouplebs

[Gisela Stuart @GiselaStuart]

breakfast meeting with @lordpatten tomorrow. Will be making the case for #BBCjobs for #Birmingham

[Not Chris Patten @LordPatten]

Still in the hot seat #fuckyouplebs

[Not Chris Patten @LordPatten]

Phew! 2013 and I appear to still have a job #annusfuckinghorribilis

[Not Chris Patten @LordPatten]

I am on the Andrew Marr show sweating profusely under the studio lights #lies

[Not Chris Patten @LordPatten]

I am reminded of an old Chinese proverb: 'A Frog Cannot Massage His Own Balls'

[Not Chris Patten @LordPatten]

Hong Kong was a lot easier than this