the good part about actively realizing that im traumatized from it is that i can actively notice and suppress the impulses i get from it. its hard. bpd sucks.
my last relationship realllllly fucked me up. i can mostly control my impulses to bombard my gf with messages but fuuuck .. you dont really realize how fucked up shit was until someone starts treating you right and you're still on edge wondering if u did smth wrong
everyone has their juan atkins posts (all heaters!), but I just wanted to zoom out::
techno is one of the few truly modern genres. one that transmuted prince, parliament and blue note into pure machine funk, and had a Cambrian explosion into hip-hop, pop, and beyond.
one where the creators—the legends!—are playing festival stages (that wouldn't exist w/o them!), and mentoring the next gen actively.
if there was no Juan Atkins, there'd be no "Lose Control" by Missy(!), no "Be A Superman" by YMO, no "Baby Got Back" (yup). sheesh.
here's to the OGs, here's to what's next. damn.
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
*paws at you* lesbian
my last relationship realllllly fucked me up. i can mostly control my impulses to bombard my gf with messages but fuuuck .. you dont really realize how fucked up shit was until someone starts treating you right and you're still on edge wondering if u did smth wrong
the first time i was ever called a fag was like 6 at daycare, we were on the playground and I asked my friend who was a couple yesrs older if he ever thought he should have been born as a girl.
he said "thats kinda gay, dont be a fag dude. plus girls are disgusting."
@pi_in_pie and like now im desensitized to a lot of it, which is not good obv but also I think it helps me be able to defend both myself and other people better bc a lot of people (understandably) have a really hard time when others are hurling slurs at them
@pi_in_pie hard agree. I was in a type of special ed for children with emotional/behavioral disregulation and the teachers used to literlaly call us r slurs
@pi_in_pie yeah forreal.. looking back at it, we were all bad as FUCK in elementary school where I live. kids were already fuckin around back then and shit, its so wild.
being called such things that early though I think is part of the reason I can brush it off if its directed at me