Louie Blake

“I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are.” Mewtwo

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: It's a short week.

5-year-old: All weeks are seven days.

Me: This one has a holiday.

5: The days of the week song lied.

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

@OoonaBell Can I come for dinner, your cooking is the best!

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

@OoonaBell @Marsofthestars I am still deeply offended 🤦🏼‍♂️

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

Me: Ree can you spell your name?
Ree: R-E-E
Me: Great, can you spell it backwards?
Ree: *turns around so his back is to me* R-E-E

I’m done with this kid. 😂🤦🏼‍♂️

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

7-year-old: I hate mashed potatoes.

Me: Those aren’t mashed potatoes.

7: What are they?

Me: French fry salad.

7: Maybe one more bite.

#LieLikeAParent #Ad

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

And if you look to this tweet you can see what life is like for my 6 yr old brother 😂

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: No monkey business.

7-year-old: Monkeys don't do business.

Me: You know what I mean.

7: I don't even have a briefcase.

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

Lmao if this isn’t Ayana 😂

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

9-year-old: I'm done.

Me: With what?

9: *motions vaguely around* Everything.

Same.

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

Happy birthday bro, May the 4th be with you! 🎉

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

They’re getting so big, where did my tiny babies go!?

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Oona Bartolini @OoonaBell]

Me and this Loser @LouieBlake_

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

@OoonaBell Oh she’s beautiful but her poop should qualify as a nuclear weapon! 😂

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

@OoonaBell @Marsofthestars Listen, the toilet seat is best suited up, I will die for this cause.

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

@radtodad I think we might be doing a small party at her favorite ice cream shop, you and the family are welcome to come. I can get back with you on dates/times.

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

I honestly cannot wrap my head around Emma turning four. Who is allowing this? Not me. In other news, how do you plan a party for a child who’s 3 going on 30?!

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

I heard something today and honestly I’ll never be the same. Apparently when identical twins have children (cough @dapokemonhunter) legally the kids are cousins but biologically they are half siblings and it’s got me all the way messed up 😳

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

@OoonaBell I hate that your corny ass joke just made me laugh 😂

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

Having two sick children at the same time is honestly a fate worse than death

[Louie Blake @LouieBlake_]

@OoonaBell Thank you, you’re a life saver as always.