Lance Fortune

Onward!!!

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Glorification? There was zero glory in my addiction. It was truly the most excruciatingly humiliating and degrading experience you could possibly imagine. I wanted to commit suicide almost daliy, but didn’t have the courage for even that. Instead I’d reach for the pipe or the bottle. The cowards way out. The guilt. The shame. The hurt. The absolute misery of it. Yet here I am. And I am not alone. There are millions upon millions of us. We don’t all agree on politics or people or who we root for on Sunday. But we all have the shared experience of walking through that fire and surviving. I chose to live. That’s not a joke.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@ShadowSamaCid @honter_boden Tell your brother to vote for someone who truly wants what’s best for the vast majority of us. I’ve never run for anything in my life, and I’m happy keeping it that way. But thank you Shadow I’m honored.

[Lance Fortune @Lrayox]

@maddenifico #boycottcbs

[Andy Kim @AndyKimNJ]

I’m leaving the Capitol now at 530am after 19 hrs of votes where Senate Republicans passed $70B for ICE/CBP with no accountability after killings of Alex Pretti/Renee Good and no reforms after chaos at Delaney Hall. Zero dollars to help your family pay bills and high gas prices.

[Norm Macdonald Joke of the Day @NormSNLJokes]

Under a new law passed by the state assembly, effective next year Michigan will set aside an allotment of hunting licenses for blind people.

This, after years of relentless lobbying... by deer.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@KingLibertarian It’s showtime!

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn’t trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

AI is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like I love you, but WTF, but I still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn’t a good guy looking out for America’s best interest. Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn’t hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It’s like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we’re told to fight about:

Me.
Laptop.
Vaccines.
Transgenders in sports.
Pronouns.

That’s the joke.

[Jim Koenigsberger @Jimfrombaseball]

"It is a joke.
The game is becoming a freaking joke because of the nerds who are running it.
These guys played rotisserie baseball at Harvard or wherever the f--- they went and they thought they figured the f---ing game out.
They don't know s---.
A bunch of f---ing nerds running the game.
You can't slide into second base.
You can't take out the f---ing catcher because Posey was in the wrong position and they are going to change all the rules.
You can't pitch inside anymore.
I'd like to knock some of these f---ers on their ass.
Ryan Braun is a f---ing steroid user.
He gets a standing ovation on "Opening Day" in Milwaukee.
How do you explain that to your kid after throwing people under the bus and lying through his f---ing teeth?
They don't have anyone passing the f---ing torch to these people.
If I had acted like that, you don't go in that f---ing dugout.
There are going to be 20 f---ing guys waiting for you."
Goose Gossage.
Baseball Ambassador.
Legend!

[Chicago Police @Chicago_Police]

The Chicago Police Department honors Police Officer Krystal Rivera #19020, End of Watch: June 5, 2025, who was shot and killed in the line of duty.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@JohnConnor_US Well Senator, speaking from a vast wealth of experience we are going to have to agree to disagree on this. I never liked insufflaters. So arrogant.

[Ted Lieu @tedlieu]

Dear @SecretaryWright: Some deep questions for your deep thoughts:

-Did you know the sun still shines during winter?

-Did you know that solar panels rely on sunlight rather than warmth?

In fact, solar panels can operate even more efficiently during the winter.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Also on a serious note. I would like @peterdouchey to please ask the president when I get my royalty check for those where’s Hunter t-shirts. It’s been 4 years now and he keeps telling me the check is in the mail.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@mark_slapinski And I feel bad about that. I meant to say he is a sadistic, infantile ugly fuck.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Right! And we are all brainwashed to think it’s something to aspire to. I know this is old but the difference between one million and one billion is so vast I think people can’t comprehend it. One million seconds equals is 11.5 days. One billion seconds is 31.7 Years. And Elon is about to be a trillionaire. That would be 31,700 years. Now do the math in dollars. And the fact is that no one in the history of the world has ever attained that wealth by any other means then some form of domination over others. I do not begrudge financial success, but I do have a real problem when the the top 0.1% (130,000 families) hold 6 times the wealth as the bottom 66 million households combined. Put another way 905 individuals in America have twice the wealth of the entire bottom half of the country- 165,000,000 people. And it wasn’t always this way. The top 0.1 percent’s share of the U.S. wealth pie has grown 59.6 percent since just 1989.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@OrangeFreddyG @andersleehere Even I don’t think Hunter Biden is going to save us.

[Congressman Robert Garcia @RepRobertGarcia]

The transcript of Pam Bondi’s interview is now out. That day I said: “She continues to push all of the investigation and the blame on Acting AG Todd Blanche."

Bondi said I was lying.

Well, the transcript is out. And it’s clear that Bondi placed all responsibility on Blanche.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

You don’t have to read these posts you know. But you do have a point about the careful thinking thing. I think that got shut off somewhere along the way. But I do think a lot- about a lot of things. One thing I’m thinking is that I just wasted at least 3 minutes of your time thinking about the things I’’m writing to you this very moment. Good day to you sir- and try not be so serious in the future. Smile Joe.

[Rick Wilson @TheRickWilson]

Thanks, Trump!

[crunchyrugger @crunchyrugger]

having dinner at a hotel bar the other night struck up a conversation with a mid-level United Healthcare exec. he told me he puts over $300,000 a year on his company credit card just for entertaining clients. In case you’re wondering why you can’t afford health insurance