Dan Brown

Trying to get by in life while doing as little work as possible

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

The mask hits different in the winter. Your move Covid

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Vape shops are the new Subway. We don’t need this many

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Uber needs an option where you can press a button on the app to tell the guy to drive faster. Hurry up dude

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

When tf did everyone get so good at dancing #TikTok

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Did the person who designed Seven Corners lie on their resume?

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

What are you people doing at ATMs where it takes you any longer than 2.5 minutes

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

This is the last time I check the mail, it’s always just a stack of fucking bills

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

@GordonRamsay tell me why this restaurant in Vegas threw my girl’s lettuce wedge on the grill

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Tyrion will be sitting on the Iron Throne when its all said and done

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Door Dashing fast food sounds good in theory, but are you really going to trust your driver to fight for those extra sweet and sour sauces for you

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

These guys are always in the super bowl

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Bars need to serve fruit platters for late night drinking @steffbrownn #korean

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

I feel like 33.3% of my life is me waiting outside in my car after I’ve sent you the “I’m here” text

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Hate feeling obligated to say hello and goodbye to the loss prevention guy at the front of Best Buy. Swear to God next time, I’m walking right by your ass without making eye contact on both entrance and exit

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Bout to get in an Uber, I hope the driver doesn’t try to converse #FirstWorldProblems

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

@steffbrownn Lifesaver

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

How do I turn off Live video notifications? #annoying

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

How late is too late to say Happy New Year? Stop, fuck off, it’s the second week of 2019, we in this bitch now

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

When you’re out drinking but would rather be laying on the couch #old

[Dan Brown @LtDan87]

Honestly how is Nathan Peterman still in the league? Gotta be one of the worst QB's in the history of the league if we compared stats