Cpt. Ed Tucker

I don't answer to anyone.

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

There's my boy! I missed you! https://t.co/dmvnCjgvpN

[iana @ianasea]

@LtMotherTucker found him!

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

Has anyone seen Noah? He's been MIA for about a month. Should I call the cops or ACS or...

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

@SarrahRichards Side hoe? Is that something like Benson & Stabler?

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

Hapenis? I've got your hapenis right here.

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

@SarrahRichards Give me advice. My girlfriend drinks a lot and won't tell people about our relationship. Help.

[iana @ianasea]

Half the time I don't know what tf is going on here, but I do know some drama must be going down because y'all bring out the 🐸☕️ and the 🍿

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

Drama is a major food group for teenaged girls aka... Twitter folks. https://t.co/uplp0feVbo

[ICE T @FINALLEVEL]

The ONLY reason I'm on Twitter is to kick it with cool people and fans. F all the drama.. Who the F needs that?!

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

Always under the cover of darkness.

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

5 minutes. That's all it takes. Well, on a good night.

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

@sassylibrarian1 I doubt that Trump would slur the nuclear codes in a drunken stupor. Come over any night. You'll see what I go through.

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

Did you guys miss me? The suspension was tough. I sat around at the bar with Olivia. Drinks me under the table. Every time.

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

I know her. She's a booze hound. You do not want my girl as president. #IDKNotBensonThough https://t.co/YTajsmJebJ

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

I'm. Back.

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

You get it! https://t.co/sWo0LaTngI

[Jaz @OliviaStabIer]

@LtMotherTucker @LariskaPargitay

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

@livlahiri wow. just, wow. it's real people. it's real! why must you all doubt my true intentions?

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

@livlahiri Ok. But, let's stay positive about Liv. Please.

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

@livlahiri don't

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

What's a "spirit animal"? https://t.co/iBnW9Hg5zn

[mt @_socialcat]

.@LtMotherTucker is my spirit animal

[Cpt. Ed Tucker @LtMotherTucker]

@LariskaPargitay and I'll help her. And so will her shrink. And her squad.