Lucas

you don’t always have to be Batman sometimes you can be Bruce Wayne

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

What fucking moron brings there dog aggressive, dog on a leash to a dog park where dogs are allowed off leash and then complains when my good boy comes near them

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

I got a Dalmatian and I can still get high

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Starting to wonder if my dog is on the spectrum

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Why is raspberry lemonade redder than strawberry lemonade

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Dammit

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Why tf is scooby sleeping in bed when Freddie is sleeping on the couch

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Fell asleep and woke up driving right at a truck

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Bout to knock out my patients wife

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

If you don’t like me then you don’t like positivity

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Thinking I might quit my job tomorrow

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Michael Scott once said last year my favorite restaurant closed down and my new favorite restaurant sucks

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

If Justin Jefferson could score right now that’d be clutch

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

He was a problem

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Prime Kyrie Irving was different

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

@windychesthair Had me shook

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

Said happy holidays to someone today and she looks me dead in the eyes and goes “it won’t be happy”

[Lucas @LucasMotsiff]

I took a girl out the other day and impressed the shit out of her with my parallel parking

[Robbie Fox @RobbieBarstool]

mans built like carl wheezer

[𝗫𝗮𝘃𝗲 🇦🇺 @WonderbreadMMA]

Fun Fact: Jon Jones has been arrested more times than Khabib Nurmagomedov defended his Lightweight title 💀

You tell me who the GOAT is? 🐐🔥