@NoFilterSkin So many
Breathwork
Red light therapy
Dance
Exercise
Being with other people
Essential oils
Tibetan bowls
Tuning fork
Nature
Laughter
Sunshine
Friends
Community
Eating well
Sleeping well
Massage
Sauna
Music
Sense of purpose
Sense of connection to the whole
My wife and I almost lost our marriage to a friendship.
Not an affair.
Not another man.
Her best friend.
It started small.
A text here. A call there.
"She just gets me."
I didn't think anything of it.
Until I noticed my wife told her things she didn't tell me.
Hard days at work. Fears about the kids. Doubts about us.
Her best friend got the real her.
I got the tired version.
The leftover version.
The one who said "I'm fine" when I asked how she was.
One night I found her crying on the phone.
With her.
Not me.
I stood in the doorway.
She didn't even notice.
That's when I realized:
I wasn't losing my wife to another man.
I was losing her to a counterfeit intimacy that felt safer than me.
No risk.
No vulnerability.
No covenant weight.
Just comfort without cost.
I sat her down the next morning.
"I feel like I'm third in my own marriage."
She got defensive at first.
"She's just my friend. You're overreacting."
But then I asked:
"When's the last time you told me something before you told her?"
Silence.
She couldn't remember.
Neither could I.
We didn't fix it overnight.
But we started.
She stopped running to her phone when she was hurting.
She came to me instead.
Awkward at first.
We'd forgotten how.
Your wife doesn't need a best friend who "gets her."
She needs a husband who pursues her.
And brother…
If she's running to someone else with her heart?
Maybe it's because you stopped being safe enough to hold it.
Your spouse should know you better than anyone on earth.
If they don't, that's not their failure.
It's your invitation.
Go get your wife back.
Not from another man.
From the counterfeit comfort she's settled for.
Because you stopped showing up.
I didn’t know she was keeping count.
Last night my girlfriend quietly said:
“You never notice the little things anymore.”
I laughed it off… thought she was being dramatic.
This morning, while she was in the shower, her notebook fell out of her bag.
I picked it up to put it back.
I didn’t mean to read it.
But the page it opened to froze me.
At the top she wrote:
“Things I wish he’d notice…”
And the list hit me like a punch:
– “I wait for his messages even when I’m tired.”
– “I dress up for him even when he doesn’t look.”
– “I listen to every detail he says.”
– “I hype him even when I’m hurting.”
– “I love him loudly… he loves me quietly.”
– “I don’t think he knows how much I’m trying.”
I just sat there staring at the page, feeling like someone switched on a light in a room I had been walking through blindly.
She came out of the shower smiling, asking what we should eat today…
And all I could think was:
How long has she been loving me while feeling unseen?
Sometimes the people who give you the most…
Are the ones you notice the least.
Don’t wait until you lose them to realize they were trying.
After you get married, you’re going to meet ‘better’ people than your spouse. You’re going to meet more good-looking people; kinder and more romantic people; more intelligent and funny people. You will meet people who have in abundance what your partner lacks. The mushy and romanticized idea that your partner will be everything to you, and will satisfy all your needs and wants is idolatry. Contentment in marriage is a virtue not often spoken about.
You must wake up every day appreciating everything your partner is to you, everything they have, their beauty and the things that made you marry them because if you focus on everything they don’t do well, you’ll always meet better people. Protect your heart! See their best part, and always remember that your commitment to marry is more of a duty than it is of mushy feelings. You have to stay committed even on the days you feel your spouse is no longer the best fit for you…
-Buchi
airtime advance
two pot system
buy now, pay later
payday loans
store credit cards
gambling addictions
large balloon payments
early wage access/ paymenow
borrowing from the future to survive today
this isn't financial innovation, it's a broken system 💔💔