Another form of low self esteem is definitely being too available to people who have shown you countless times that they lack a sense of urgency and enthusiasm towards you. I know its hard but regulate your nervous system to calm down.
i actually think "surface level" friendships are very healthy. not everyone in your life has to be your ride or die. some friends are for the gym. some are for going out. some are just for complaining about work or bureaucracy. when you stop expecting everyone to be your everything, the disappointment disappears. those deep convos and connections are for the 2-3 people closest to you