Luke Albright

Professional musician. Unprofessional adult.

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

me (a 10% Employee Stock Purchase Plan investor) watching my coworker put two packets of True Grapefruit into their water bottle

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

when you hate working mornings but realize you’re at the airport early enough to get McDonald’s breakfast

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

supervisors always finding something wrong with your uniform 😒

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

most flight attendants: ‘I can’t believe I just worked for 12 hours.’

straight male flight attendants: ‘I can’t believe I just worked for 12 hours straight.’

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

‘I hope 2026 isn’t too crazy.’

2026:

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

if there was a combination tribute band called Shania Train would you buy tickets to see them yes or no?

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

FA announcement: ‘Federal law strictly prohibits consuming your own alcohol anywhere onboard the aircraft.’

Passengers with their own alcohol:

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

asking your friend who has T-Mobile for an inflight wifi code

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

supervisor: ‘You can’t wear that hat, it’s not uniform compliant.’

me as soon as the L1 door closes:

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

@coldplay when ur enjoying Sparks together and then Trouble starts 😳

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

don’t forget to bid

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

when ur card declines @Applebees on 4/1 but you don’t get an ‘April Fools’ notification from your bank

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

‘This is a service animal.’

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

the boarding music for Boeing flights will now include ‘Light My Fire’ and ‘Love Her Madly’ after recent studies showed passengers love having The Doors on the plane

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

me watching the time change from 1:59AM to 3AM

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

I auditioned for Sublime and was fired during our first rehearsal, they could tell I didn’t practice Santeria 😔

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

‘Don't talk to me or my son ever again’

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

Just finished the third Creed movie, the band still hasn’t even been mentioned once this is unbelievable.

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

On a flight with my mom and she is watching Midnight In Paris. She paused it and I asked if she had a favorite character so far. She said the guy from Dumb and Dumber (Owen Wilson)

[Luke Albright @LukeAlbright]

with a slogan like that, how does @autozone not have an official @Fleshlight?