Luke Bateman

28. Writer/Performer/Presenter◾️One half of a mediocre double act @lukeandelliott ◾️

[Luke Bateman @LukeBateman98]

MAKE IT 7

[Luke Bateman @LukeBateman98]

Truly magical. 6 years running I’ve wrapped up and given Mother the same DVD of ‘Les Miserables’ and she’s never once taken the cellophane off.

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

Middle Class Women of a Certain Age 💅
#greggwallace #MiddleClassWomanOfaCertainAge
#uglysisters

https://t.co/BEwWkydtsG?

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“I’LL KICK HIM IN THE WILLY” 🔦🚨🔦🤕

(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - THE FINALE - PART 15 🎬)

In our FINAL session with 8 year old Ayanna, we gossip about Spiders, Romance, and how to deal with a burglar🤣😆😂
+ Luke gets beaten up (a lot) 🤪

#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“DON’T LISTEN TO DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE HE’S A LIAR!” 🇺🇸💸😡

(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - PART 14🎬)

This week, we natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Money, Boys v Girls, and Donald Trump 🤣😆😂
Buck up your ideas @realDonaldTrump !

#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“US GIRLS HAVE LOVELY SMOOTH ELBOWS!” 👧🥰👸

(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - PART 13 🎬)

This week, we natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Covid, Climate Change, and Lumpy Elbows 🤣😆😂
Listen up @GretaThunberg !

#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

Privilege and honour to be back up in the Commentary Gantry and on the mics for another season of @officialEIHL Ice Hockey with @flamesicehockey this year ⛸️🎙️❄️Who will win the Elite League this term? Roll on the 2024/25 season…👀🏒🥅 #icehockey #flames #commentary ✅📝

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“JUDI HAS GOT AN AMAZING PERSONALITY. I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HER!” 😍👏😊
(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - PART 12 🎬)
This week, we natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Weather, Housing, and Superheroes 🌤️🏡🦸‍♀️
PLUS her admiration for Comedian Judi Love (@1Judilove )❤️❤️❤️
#funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“YOU’RE AS THIN AS A PENCIL” ✏️😆✏️ (CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - PART 11 🎬)

This week, we natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Sky-Diving, Cats, and The Royal Variety Performance🤣🤔

#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“BISH BASH BOSH” ✅👊🥊
(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN -
PART 10 🎬)

This week, we natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Sweets, Swimming, and US Presidents 🤣🤔

#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“NOBODY LIKES A MAN
WHO STARTS A WAR” ⚠️😤⚠️
(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - PART 9 🎬)

This week, we natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Putin, Planes, and Shaking Hands 🤣🤔 Plus we’re calling you out @BorisJohnson 😡

#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“KICK ‘EM IN THE POLKA DOTS” 🦵👙(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN
- PART 8🎬)

This week, 8 year old Ayanna teaches us how to diffuse an argument, drug safety, and the cool scale 😂🤣🤔

#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

We are hosting this in Aug ✅

Tix can be bought HERE…🎟️ https://t.co/pheDkqBU1o ✅

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

What ur parents had u believe if u ever turned this light on in the car

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

When u see ur mates for the 1st time after an awful new haircut…

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

When ur partner asks you to “go again”

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

THIS IS HOW TO ASK A GIRL ON A DATE!!!💖🌹🙆‍♀️
(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - PART 7 🎬)

This week, 8 year old Ayanna gives us hints, tips, and helpful pointers on how to ask a girl out…🤣😂🤔
#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

“I’M NEVER GETTING MARRIED” 😡💍
(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN -
PART 6🎬)

This week, we natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Halloween, Marriage, and Holidays🤣🤔
#lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke Bateman @LukeBateman98]

Colin LITERALLY read our minds live not once but TWICE 😱😱😱 in this ep, we also talk injecting himself with poison, blackboards, and an encyclopaedic knowledge of Christmas specials
Listen HERE! ➡️ https://t.co/O8e5NmKvvl 🎧

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

🚨WE CAN REEEEAD YOUR MIND🚨(and it seems you’d like a new Podcast episode 😉) THIS week’s guest is the world-renowned Mentalist @Colin_Cloud ✨🔮✨(Star of America’s Got Talent, This Morning, The Royal Variety Performance) ✅
Listen HERE! ➡️ https://t.co/Hh4i2waJWD 🎧 #podcast

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

"IN AMERICA, PEOPLE CLIP THEIR CAT’S TOE NAILS”🙀😡🙀
(CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - PART 5🎬)
We natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Swimming, Electric Cars, and American Law 🤣🤔🤩 #lukeandelliott #funnykids

[Luke Bateman @LukeBateman98]

A really nice switcheroo being able to talk TO Brett, after 2 seasons of talking ABOUT him on Live Commentary for his team Guildford Flames 🔥

Other topics include Family Guy, adventures to Cornwall, and respecting the Head Coach 😂

Listen HERE ➡️ https://t.co/O8e5NmKvvl 🎧 ✅

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

🚨❄️ICE ICE BABY🚨❄️THIS week’s Podcast guest is Canadian Ice Hockey Player & Captain of EIHL side Guildford Flames @brettferguson18 🔥⛸️🏑🥅🔥

Listen HERE ➡️ https://t.co/Hh4i2waJWD 🎧

We talk his love affair with the fans and which team mate he thinks is worst dressed 😂

[Luke & Elliott @LukeandElliott]

"McDONALD'S MAKES ME VOMIT” 🤮 🤢 (CHATTING WITH CHILDREN - PART 4 🎬) We natter with 8 year old Ayanna about Favourite Colours, Fast Food, and The Oscars 🤣🤔🤩 #lukeandelliott #funnykids