Saint Elmo

Back door dippers and ninja slippers

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

@CBCAlerts HRH has put the arseholes back in the box. It'll all go tits up anyway and Ginger Nuts will come crawling home

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Great night with Keith Vaz. Arse is in tatters

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

@thekingofpeth A boring cunt in a car coat paid me for gams with them. #pasties

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Might slip into the Merells and get cruising for bot

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

@markpar94589840 Dog ate one and shat one

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

@markpar94589840 But now I'm riding loads of blokes

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Watching that rugby this morning made me realise just how good I was. Brilliant. I didnt really have a position, or play for anyone mind, but I was brilliant. I did miss a trick though. I should have dominated all those cocks in the showers. #scoffscoff

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Got up & pulled on yesterday's clothes,3 steps & my arsehole cramped,on top of that, the kegs I'd pulled on had obviously been shat last night. A double shit in my pants. 2 shits. Most of 1 had fallen out down my leg by the time I got to the offy but the other 1 rubbed me raw.

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Had a curry last night,woke up this morn and wolfed down the cold korma. I thought it tasted funny but assumed that was due to sookin so much pipe. It wasn't the korma though, the dog had shat on the plate on the floor. Bright yellow. Now I've got worms and an itchy arsehole

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

One more gam. Just one more gam.

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

#Bedlingtonheems

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Anyone know what it's called or how much I should charge for letting a pensioner shove his full colostomy bag up my arse?

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

@dannycare. Oh dear.

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Passed out in Spoons. Came round in that old bloke with the limp's flat. Him and his mates tied me up, made me wear his polio shoe, and used my mouth on rota.

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

I'm so spangled by the drink I just lie on a bench in the bandstand with my gob open and all the local huckles just pump my mouth when they want. Like dunking biscuits in a cup of tea.

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

@IzzyFolau If you want a gam, give me a bell. #scoffer #heem

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Can you get AIDS from eating other people's diarrhoea?

#slurpslurp
#dribblechin
#breath

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

Dutch Sauna off the Mrs last night. I asked for it too. No accident. Hmmmmmm. Sweaty, steamy, humming.

Then I rode it.

#Gobbler.

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

@Listerine hi, I've recently 'come out ' when people are saying my breath smells of penis. Will your stuff help?

#gobbler

[Saint Elmo @LukeEll76586626]

💥💥💥THIS SATURDAY💥💥💥
11 A.M.
🍇🍇THE OLD MANSE🍇🍇
PEXTON

🌟🌟POOFY TOOLING 🌟🌟

2018 UK CHAMPIONSHIPS

STRETCH IT AND FETCH IT

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥