Luke Skywalker

Jedi. Galactic playboy. Jerk. No words.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Turns out the Forest Moon of Endor has a red light district.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Who needs a blue tick? I've got blue milk.
Besides. I dead.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Send me @NandosUK

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Wait, is this the lovechild of Artoo and BB-8? Sounds like it. Oh the thought of those fluids flowing, those gears a grindin'. Puts my lightsaber up

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

#otherpeopleskids

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Totes need a babysitter. WTF was I thinking?

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

David Prowse was Darth Vader.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

If the Galactic Senate would just get their lockdown shit together, we could stop the spread of midichlorians.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

I'd be excited about the new movie but, y'know, I'm dead.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

RIP Peter Mayhew.
The heart of the Wookiee.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Episode 9: Return of the Luke

I hope.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Save the UK (its full of ewoks anyway) from the dark side. Join the rebellion. yadda yadda
https://t.co/ze7fJS6aPe

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Why aren't yellow shoes more common?

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

@InitiativeQ is a new currency by ex-Empire (paypal) guys, and here its free. If Q succeeds, economic models estimate the reward would be more money that you can imagine.
I dunno kid, I can... etc.
Name and email and your spot is reserved.
By invite only: https://t.co/PBxyTHO5sk

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

I wonder if I can buy my way back to life?

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

It so hard to press clothes when you're a force ghost.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

You know how the light from your phone keeps you awake at night? Imagine being me.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

I miss the everyday things. Blue milk, pizza, combing my hair (jk), flossing, building sandcastles (screw you, dad), Candy Crush, Tinder, spaghetti hoops, birthday cards, 'Just For Men' nights in with a movie, Atari, fresh pillows, birdsong, a good dump, and Sundays.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Turns out being dead is pretty chill.

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

Planning my domination of PornHub

[Luke Skywalker @lukeskywalker]

@kiyanwang enjoy your blue milk today!