Luke Johnson

Highest Finishing FPL Rank: 2k. Currently: 350k

[Cole Walmsley @Cole_Walmsley]

So basically Bitcoin does this thing every 4 years where the entire market thinks bitcoin is dead because the price gets shitted on over and over and over and then it goes back up and everybody forgets about it and gets mad they didn’t buy when it was getting shitted on.

[Leon @MindMatterMoney]

The best “energy drink” is 3L of water

The best “focus drug” is 8 hours of sleep

The best “reset” is a day without screens

The best “therapy” is time spent with loved ones

The best “antidepressant” is 45 minutes of exercise

Young men, don't let anyone tell you otherwise

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@BitcoinPulseX 1-0 to PSG

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@Core_002 1-0 psg

[FTBL_Planet @FTBL_Planet]

When Andy Goram had three months left on his Motherwell contract, he already knew he was not getting another one.

He was coming towards the end of his career, driving to training with his wife Miriam, and the phone rang at half nine in the morning.

It was Ally McCoist.

That was suspicious enough on its own.

Ally did not usually phone people at half nine in the morning unless he was still coming in from the night before.

So Goram spoke to him, thought nothing more of it, and went into training.

At lunchtime, the phone went again.

This time it was Walter Smith.

Walter was at Everton then, but he told him to keep his phone on because somebody was about to ring him.

“What is it, gaffer? You got a job for me?”

Walter just told him:

“Just keep your f****** phone on.”

A couple of minutes later, the phone rang again.

“Goalie, it’s Alex Ferguson here.”

“We’ve got Bayern Munich on Wednesday and Liverpool at the weekend. Barthez is injured and Raimond van der Gouw is struggling. I need you to come down on loan until the end of the season.”

Goram knew exactly what was happening.

Ally McCoist could do Ferguson’s voice perfectly.

So he gave the only answer that made sense.

“Coisty, f*** off.”

And he put the phone down.

Then the phone rang again.

This time Goram told Miriam to answer it.

“Miriam, this is Alex Ferguson, and you can tell that fat b****** he’s got ten seconds to say aye or naw.”

It really was Sir Alex Ferguson.

So Andy Goram went to Manchester United.

Steve McClaren took him round the dressing room and introduced him to the squad.

Goram knew most of them already.

Then they got to Roy Keane.

No handshake.

Just Keane staring at him.

Goram looked at him and said:

“There’s no point is there?”

Keane just said:

“No.”

And that was it.

Keane was a Celtic man.

Goram was a Rangers man.

They did not exchange a civil word in three months.

Training did not exactly help.

They were playing eight-a-side one day, and Keane and Luke Chadwick were up front for Goram’s team.

Goram pinged a half-volley straight on to Chadwick’s foot.

Chadwick snatched at it and put the volley over the bar.

Keane turned on Goram straight away.

“Hey you, give me the f****** ball.”

Goram was not having that.

“What, do you get the ball just because you’re Roy Keane? F*** off.”

From that moment, the atmosphere was gone.

On the way off the pitch, Gary Neville came over to him.

“Goalie, we don’t talk to Roy like that down here.”

“We just don’t.”

Goram wasn’t ready to start building relationships.

“F*** off Nev, do you just do everything Roy wants? Now do one.”

Neville just walked away without saying another word.
#football

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@waleedinhoafc @AFCFranchise Important assist award 😂😂

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@CFC_faner You have it right for me.

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@LegacySiu Diego forlan?

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@BakerFPL343 Any of the Bournemouth players, don’t need a triple up for plucky palace.

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@Flygloble @FPL_Barbossa I don’t disagree.

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@FPLPhysioo Are you joking?!

[Beth T @bethTmufc]

I feel for you if you can’t see what an incredible footballer Kobbie Mainoo is.

Different class.

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@FPL__Fran Would you do Mitoma to Enzo for a -4? @FPL__Fran

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@David734452527 @FPLDailly @LetsTalk_FPL And de ligt

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@Pixie1z Top gun 2. ✈️

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@FPL_Chubbs @FplWhitty Will the fixtures down the line have more potential than Bowen vs wolves rather than DCL at old Trafford in a weakened Leeds team?

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@FplVeteran_ Yeah me neither, I’ve abandoned ship on them. Darlow will be enough pain!

[Luke Johnson @Lukeyj3]

@SpirosValouxis I guess it’s rank dependent. I’m on the hunt for immediate points and I don’t think DCL delivers at OT.