Failure

Self-hatred, depression, anxiety, OCD, alcoholism

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I'm aiming to die at the same time as my parents by treating my body like crap, eating like crap, sleeping like crap and being out of shape

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

My dad doesn't want to be 70 yet. I don't want him to be 70 yet either. He's the age where he's noticing people his age are dying off now and it's only going to get worse

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

Just because I'm a skinny little lady doesn't mean I can't use a pallet jack you sexist coworkers

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I used to want to get to know people but I don't anymore, I'm too tired, life is too depressing

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I'm a 2nd gen Canadian let me have my privilege ie. sharing rent and bills with my parents and brother

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I don’t want to work full time in the summer for almost minimum wage with no benefits, as much as every coworker tells me they want me to. I don’t care if it’s the culture here to work your ass off. I don’t have to so I won’t, especially not for a job like this

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

When I was full time retail, people from my dad’s culture thought I had a decent job because it was above the poverty line and it has benefits. People from my mom’s culture obviously thought it was ass because it’s retail. Lol

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I'm not shy to talk to others anymore but I'm terrified if others want to get to know me because I'm ashamed of my existence, every single thing about me is an embarrassment

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

Surely the doctors don't expect me to just stop drinking when I've been drinking on and off for like 10 years

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I feel kinda bad because I've spent a ton of time, money and therapists' and doctors' time and Canadian healthcare services just like being on mental life support for my parents and not planning to live longer after that

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

Life isn't worth living. If my parents weren't still alive to beg me to live I wouldn't be alive. I have a brother but he'd be fine if I die

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

FINALLY after a month of not drinking due to ketamine treatment I CAN DRINK BEER

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I want to hear life advice from someone who has experienced lots of crap and failure and survived, not someone who's had a good life

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I told a doctor I wasted my 20s and he was like "it's ok, life starts at 30" no it's not bro you spent your 20s as a doctor in Italy, what the fuck do you know about wasting your 20s

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

Why do I have to spend so much time and money being sick?

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

It’s like god destined some people to succeed in life, some people have all the traits and opportunities to succeed from start to finish

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

Why do I need a psychiatrist, why can't I give myself my own meds at this point

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I don't think my fatigue level is normal

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

Ketamine mostly took away my background sadness and anxiety but didn't give me any motivation or ability to feel positive emotions. I mostly feel nothing and relaxed, that's good enough for the summer. It's temporary and all the doctors know that and they're just hoping it sticks

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

I've learned when you get fat and then skinny again you don't look the same as when you were skinny originally

[Failure @LumpyDepressive]

Why is my weight still going down