I'm not okay. Not mentally, not physically. Im sick of pretending I'm fine and having to mask everything I really feel. I'm in pain and I'm struggling and I'm drowning and my brain won't let me believe anything anyone tries to say to help.
I'm having a bad depressive episode and I feel so fucking alone and like I want to just disappear from the earth entirely so I guess I'll just scream into the void that is this hell app because I need to vocalise this somehow.
I don't want to live in constant mental and physical pain any more. I'm so exhausted. I'm so so tired of how much of a struggle every day is and being so alone in it. Noone can help or change it. I just have to pretend I'm coping fine every day until I die.
Entering my not giving a fuck era. Don't wanna make the effort with me? Don't wanna acknowledge me? Don't wanna respect my time or what I have to say? Don't wanna respond to my messages? That's cool, bye tho. I'm done making an effort if you arent going to either.
Starting my birthday week with a very large glass of wine because today can fuck off. Someone just buy me pizza and treats and wrap me up in a blanket.