I have a confession.
Roc Nation has been paying me to support Megan.
They also paid off all the jury members to convict Tory.
And they bribed the judge, too. Jay-Z did a verse for his grandson's new album.
They paid off Megan's doctor to lie about the bullet fragments. She was never shot.
The LA police are all on Jay's payroll. And it doesn't stop with LA, but you're not ready to hear that part.
The Mexican guy who stabbed Tory - who do you think paid him to do that? You already know the answer to that.
The 3 supreme court judges who denied Tory's appeal - all paid off by the Roc Mafia.
Jay also paid Trump NOT to pardon Tory. Even though it's a state case, Trump can only pardon federal cases. But knowing Trump likes to bend the rules, Jay wasn't taking any chances.
I can't keep these lies secret anymore. If this is my last tweet, you know who silenced me.
The alien told me that God tested him because he doesn't know everything. The alien also told me that God was hungry. Thatโs why he asked for his son but took the ram instead ๐จ๐ณ
The alien told me that God doesn't know everything. I asked him why did he tell Abraham to sacrifice his son as a burnt offering in Genesis 22:1-13? Some people told me that God was testing him. I also want to know why after testing him, he ate the ram on an alter instead?
The alien basically told me that the Lord was an alien, which is why he craved meat. I told him that I donโt understand. Why does the Lord need to eat anything? Heโs God. The alien told me that itโs because he was one of the Anunnaki. This is starting to get weird. ๐ฌ๐ค
The alien told me that the angels in the Bible liked how meat tastes. I asked him, โWhy are the Lord and his โangelsโ eating a cow in Genesis 18:1-8?โ โWhy are God and his angels eating meat?โ He simply just told me that they like how it tastes. at least heโs straight forward..
The alien told me that his grandfather was one of those angels that took the daughters of man in the Bible. I asked him how was he related to the angels if heโs an alien? He said โthe angels came from the sky so where do you think I came from?โ Boy I feel stupid ๐คฆ๐พโโ๏ธ
This is the second time that I had to give these to him. He told me that he doesnโt need them where heโs from. He said that the women on his planet donโt have diseases. I just hope that he listens to me ๐คฆ๐พโโ๏ธ
#zoserreaha#comedy#comedyskit#hoodmemes#freedryork#alien#anunnaki