LV

art is a harlot and I'm her sassy urban friend

[LV @Lvanboss]

Never have I ever been fully hydrated

[LV @Lvanboss]

5 out of the last 8 times I’ve gone to Target I’ve gotten a front row parking spot....this is the most exciting thing that’s currently happening in my life

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

And just when you thought it was impossible. Just when you felt there was no way it could happen again. You’re hungry. And that ludicrous Thanksgiving meal is but a passing memory.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

ME: Joe, about halfway through the speech, I’m gonna wish you a happy birth--
BIDEN: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!
ME: Joe.

Happy birthday to @JoeBiden, my brother and the best vice president anybody could have.

[Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes]

Right after I take a shower, my iPhone can’t read my fingerprint so I pretend it’s messing with me and saying this.
iPhone- “Who’s fingerprint is this? Can’t be Ben’s. He’s never had fingers this clean. I’m kidding man!!!”

[LV @Lvanboss]

The exciting news is actually that my sister got into Western 🙃

[LV @Lvanboss]

@ItsTheJame https://t.co/ftXsB7u5XQ

[LV @Lvanboss]

WHAT THE HELL!!! 😍 https://t.co/hLTArCz1rw

[billy eichner @billyeichner]

I'm BEYOND excited to be joining Donald Glover, Beyoncé and more in Disney's THE LION KING. With me and Seth Rogen as Timon and Pumba!!!! 🦁👑

[LV @Lvanboss]

@2point > seeing me

[LV @Lvanboss]

Today my dentist asked me “do you even sometimes floss?”

[LV @Lvanboss]

Actually me https://t.co/SLYad1ltuy

[Seinfeld Quotes @seinlanguage]

Kramer: “I need a new look. I’m stagnating.”

[LV @Lvanboss]

Just answered a question on jeopardy correctly....the answer was didgeridoo 🤙🏼

[LV @Lvanboss]

@2point Oh you’re one of those people

[Michigan State Football @MSU_Football]

#BeatMichigan

[Bell's Brewery @BellsBrewery]

We're ready! @gabf #GreatAmericanBeerFestival #HoppyPlace #gabf

[LV @Lvanboss]

SO PUMPED https://t.co/RP6cRBr4d4

[Red Rocks Park & Amphitheatre @RedRocksCO]

TONIGHT: @TheShins with special guests @spoontheband and @daywavemusic
#RedRocksCO

Doors 6:00 p.m. | Show 7:00 p.m.

[LV @Lvanboss]

I miss Better Made chips

[LV @Lvanboss]

and make em all dance to it