Lyle Pixton

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

So where's everyone migrating to now that old musky has taken over the tweets

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Billie Eilish always looking like she needs a nap real bad

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

The worst part about this virus is that it has completely ruined bat soup for me

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Gen z says side parts aren't cool anymore. I guess this is my new look now

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Just watched WW84 and the most realistic part of it was where they just walked into the white house.

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

The words "Unprecedented times" really peaked this year. It's only down hill from here for that phrase

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Am I allowed to say that I really enjoyed 2020?

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Unpopular conspiracy theory: toilet paper companies created covid-19 because sales were down

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Never underestimate a child's ability to hurt themselves

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

@natemanning3 It's a special moment when a son comes out of the closet to his parents

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

My two year old has two emotions: crying or laughing. There is no in between

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Having a toddler has made me a master negotiator. I'm pretty sure I could talk a jockey out of his race horse

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

@natemanning3 And no one will know what is known unless you carefully know that caring is knowing that known caring is more knowing than caring. No?

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Track suits are just fancy pajamas

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

It's like my toddler has a hidden espresso machine hiding somewhere that she only uses right before bed time

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

@natemanning3 @vivintarena @muse This means you're taking me when you win, right?

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

@BrieePixton Nothing I don't say directly to you!

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

Me talking to my 2 year old: I hope you stay this age forever.

2 minutes later: Just grow up all ready!

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

A glass of water can be described as crisp, but it's never described as crispy.

[Lyle Pixton @LylePixton]

White elephant = my family finding things around the house they don't want anymore and wrapping them up.