Alyssa

my life is a series of awkward moments separated by snacks

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

I don’t think @Grubhub understands how hungry I am every time I order.

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

I text my sister in a normal text, group text with my parents and group text with our husbands daily and we still chat on the phone everyday 😅🤷🏻‍♀️

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

One of the biggest scams in American History is Dave insisting 2 minutes of NFL time is 2 minutes of standard time

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

She’s back at it again....girl loves a good FaceTime!

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

She loves FaceTiming 😂😂

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

One day she’ll realize the more she feeds the dog the less for her

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

I told Dave I wasn’t going to shop or spend unnecessary money in October......4 days in I bought a new iPhone and made him meet me for HH twice after work 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

Me:if you didn’t marry me who would you have married? Dave (0 hesitation): a smoke show

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

Called the Target employee over to apply my 20% off coupon to my $5 item because my phone died and I couldn’t scan it and then went and had a beer by myself at a bar...adulting or rock bottom 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

Friday is really taking it’s sweet ass time this week

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

@HomeDepot you hiring? She sure looks the part!

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

@HALAMBE please add the @tacobell chili cheese burrito

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

1 more day of work stands between me and 2 whole days with my Boo 💕

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

@icemonkey14 Mac and cheese...maybe some hot dogs and peas in there too!

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

I’ve narrowed down my favorite food to a 14-way tie Pizza (thin crust), tacos, wings, nachos, sushi, pad Thai, spring rolls, macaroni, chicken fingers, shoe string fries, buffalo chicken wrap, gyros, warm chocolate chip cookies and potstickers

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

I wish the world wasn’t so shady because I CAN NOT keep track of all these different passwords for everything with upper case and lower case and symbols 🤬

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

Dave asked why I got all dressed up when I put on a new/clean pair of sweatpants today 😑

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

@RocMobile Eek I need to change my ways!

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

I always use the 1st stall thinking other people actually don’t use the 1st stall because they think it’s the dirtiest actually making it the cleanest but now I’m wondering if everyone thinks that and uses the 1st stall actually making it the dirtiest 😰

[Alyssa @LyssLamb]

Tracking my @DoorDash driver cruise around the city with my burrito and take 40 minutes to deliver was not the emotional rollercoaster I needed on a Sunday night.