MBA-ish - Workplace Satire

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[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

sooo ...what are you supposed to do when you burn through all your AI tokens at work? just stop working? Maybe we should be embracing AI in 2026 🫂

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Companies in 2026:

Monday: 🥂we’re laying off 20%
Tuesday: 🤡 you better use AI
Wednesday: 🤡you better use AI
Thursday: 🤡 you better use AI
Friday: 🥰pretty please can you fill out the “great place to work” survey

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Artemis II astronauts are paid less ($90k-180k) to fly rockets than most tech and finance bros who use AI to generate slop reports and code.

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

"The surveillance company is a benevolent company" - Orwell's next book "Corp 2026"

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Peak performance isn't about work-life balance -it's about being confident enough to not re-read your emails to coworkers 10 times after sending them, just to reassure yourself you're not a dumbass.

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Employees have always responded like AI to corporate leadership’s inquiries:

- “Great idea! I can start working on that.”
- “Absolutely. That’s the perfect approach.”
- “You’re right, my mistake. Let me do it again.”

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Some of these CEOs need to have their titles rebranded as Chief Epstein Officers

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

The new era of work is blaming AI agents when things go sideways.

It simultaneously removes accountability and showcases you as leveraging AI.

Best of both worlds 👏

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

AI slop performance reviews in 2026 😂

- Employees use AI to write the review
- Managers use AI to summarize the review written by AI
- Leadership uses AI to assign ratings based on the AI summary of the review of the originally AI generated review.

Got it?

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Just overheard a tech founder say: “We’re building a forever company. Happy new year, and welcome to Q2 of the current century.”

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Microsoft 360 is now renamed Microsoft 365 Copilot app 😂 This is so desperate - it can’t be real!

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Corporate America’s culture in 2021 vs 2026

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

It is now officially acceptable to say 😘

1: “We’ll look into this in the new year”
2: “Let’s regroup on this in Q1”
3: “Let’s circle back in Jan”
4: “We’re prioritizing this for 2026”
5: “We don’t want to lose momentum over the holidays, so we’ll start fresh on this in 2026”

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

3/3 Unhinged career advice that works 👏

❌ Where’s my promotion.

✅ AI has analyzed my work & recommends I get a promotion in Q1, 2026.

Managers & CEOs will ignore all your requests until you put the word AI in it. Then, they’ll oblige.

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

1/3 Unhinged career advice that works 👏

❌ WTF did you book a 7 am meeting?

✅ I have rescheduled the meeting at 5:00 am. I hope you can make it.

Never say no. Flip the script & force the culprit to decline the meeting as you one up them on misery.

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

2/3 Unhinged career advice that works 👏

❌ Can you shut the F up about AI already.

✅ I think we need to recalibrate our AI strategy to meet key priorities.

Recalibrate, strategy and priorities are leadership’s love language. Use it against them to meet your goals.

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

I am once again here to remind you that corporate town halls are just a gaslighting event with a PowerPoint deck

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

👏 How to enjoy Q4:

❌ Chasing down Q4 metrics & planning Q1 2026

✅ Use your company’s unlimited PTO to take time off from Thanksgiving to Christmas and start the new year with renewed zeal for next vacation.

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Launched a new merch brand for leadership. Comment “Sheep” if you want to gift it to your leadership this Christmas & I’ll send it to you free.

[MBA-ish - Workplace Satire @MBA_ish]

Ditch your Outlook calendar and subscribe to SabbatiCAL - it randomly gives you weekdays off to manage your burnout and gives an acceptable excuse to everyone for your absence.