Mass Reject

Rejected plot ideas for Mass Effect 3. Spoiler note: None for ME3, probably some for ME1/2.

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@Bylak No interest whatsoever.

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Sneak preview, for what it's worth. Not that I expect it to happen at all now. Twitter is run by absolute idiots.

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The Normandy crew fight to prevent the Collectors from monopolising the decorative plate market. EDI threatens to unplug Joker's chair.

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Revealing Tali's face depressurises the Normandy, killing everyone within seconds. The Reapers are just going through some things right now.

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A Collector ship is waylaid when its crew discover an ancient Pokémon temple. Grunt gets stung by a bee and ISN'T CRYING SHUT UP KAIDAN.

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Xenophobic human party Terra Firma publishes their poorly-researched charter, and are forced to accept orangutan members.

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The Council claims victory over the Reapers by denying the existence of organic life. Strange noises are coming from Thane's pillow fort.

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Samara's gin-soaked wailing is the highlight of Liara's birthday party. Jack and Morinth have a night off to do their hair.

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The Reapers are getting sick of these organics and their parties. Ambassador Udina does not understand why he has to clean the toilets.

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The Reapers attempt to demoralise humanity with a bitingly satirical political cartoon. Shepard sells Kelly to a Batarian taxidermist.

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@PrivateJenkins I missed you, too. This was loads of fun, I am looking forward to doing it again.

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Hello. I'm Mass Reject. You might remember me from such tweets as "Nobody likes Jacob", and "Oh Tali'Zorah, when will you learn?".

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OOC: Thanks for all your support, particularly the lovely @TrinAndTonic and talented @skoolmunkee. Mass Reject will return.

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OOC: If you'll forgive us one personal indulgence, please make it some thoughts on depression: http://t.co/gMmSpGm1dG

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OOC: Mass Reject has been quiet lately, as we believe in quality over quantity. When we can afford to play ME3 + DLC, we'll be back.

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Joker notices that Samara's "meditation" coincides with broadcasts from Mills & Boon. Reapers attack Mars, are repulsed by ululating tripods

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Ambassador Udina finally works up the nerve to ask Captain Anderson on a date. Tali's "face" is the cruel joke of an uncaring God.

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Shepard attempts to explain that EDI has effectively rendered everyone unemployed. Jacob awakens the Elder Gods while making a sandwich.

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The Normandy crew race to prevent the Reapers from breaking the fourth wall. Shepard swaps Kelly for a far more useful 20th century pager.

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Mordin's parallel dimension research has yet to identify one where anyone likes Miranda. The Reapers' codename for Shepard is "Cuddles".